All We Are Is Actors On A Stage (Zack Merrick)

The Start Of It All

After I got my coffee I walked back to the bus with almost little to no conversation with Zack. It wasn't anything against him I was just freaking out. We've never played in a state other than Arizona. I've always known everybody at our shows mostly. This is so new and so weird for me. I have major performance anxiety but I didn't expect it get this bad.

I practically ran onto the bus leaving a very confused bassist behind me. I walked onto the bus to find everybody else basically ready to go. "Jesus Christ Olivia..." Ryan mumbled at me. "Did you seriously need coffee that bad that you had to go now?!?!" He wasn't as mad as he was acting. But he was annoyed.

"You wouldn't like me without my caffeine Woods. YOU of all people should know that." I shook my head and laughed as I went to my bunk to grab my bag. I pulled out some items and overlooked them all deciding what to wear.

I settled on my leather leggings and heeled boots. My black crop top with my favorite purple flannel tied around my waist. I left my hair down but removed my beanie. I brushed through my hair and left it be. I put on my classic makeup. Eyeliner and eyeshadow. My naked palette is my best friend.

I walked out of the bathroom to find everyone gone. I hadn't talked to them much today, which is odd. But I knew all of our nerves were high. So I was letting them be which is what they were doing to me. I walked off the bus and into the back of the venue. I found them in the dressing room with our name on it. After I examined a room having our name on it because it blew my mind.

They were all working on their own to warm up. Lynn was doing jumping jacks. Ryan was listening to some music, probably Of Mice & Men, and thrashing around. Casey was staring at a wall while listening to her music, probably 5SOS. And Lexa was just messing with her guitar. I walked in and pulled out my own headphones and iPod. My warm up was similar to theirs. I listened to whatever upbeat song I was feeling at that moment. Today it was Daft Punk by Pentatonix. It's a classic warm up song if you ask me.

I was jumping around and kicking. Just trying to get some blood flowing. When we were told to get ready to go on. We all looked at each other and smiled. First show of our first tour. Let's do it.

We did our group warm up. Which is us purposely butchering the Mamma Mia part of Bohemian Rhapsody. I'm still not sure how we settled on that warm up. But it works. It always ends with us laughing at each other. The lights went down and the tune for our first song hit.

They all charged the stage with me very close behind. I grabbed my mic off of its stand and let the music start. Our first song is almost always You're The Worst. And tonight was no exception.

"You were such a fucking curse
Made me hurt so bad or worse."

I sang the last chorus and looked back at the crowd to examine it all. I was blown away. I had never seen this many people watching us before. And some looked genuinely into it.

The rest of the set went beyond amazing. It was time for our last song. Which was the one I was the most concerned about. I put my mic on the stand and started my speech before the song.

"This next song, is about one of my friends from high school. This kid was such a ray of sunshine. And I'm truly sad he's gone. It's something I'd never wish upon anyone, losing someone to suicide, or even contemplating it. So with that being said, if you or anyone you know is depressed, please talk to someone. I don't care if it's a stranger or your best friend. Just talk to someone. Suicide isn't the answer because it does get better, I promise." I stepped back and looked at my band smiling at me. I was turning around when I saw someone smiling at me from the side of the stage. It was zack. How long had he been there?? Whatever. That doesn't matter.

"So tell me if you could
Would you put down the gun
Would you reach out to someone
Instead of ending it all.

Because we miss you way down here."

I put my mic on the stand. "Were Over Done. Thank you Baltimore, it's truly been amazing. We'll be at our merch booth after the show if you want to come say hi!"

I ran off stage. That was better than I expected or even dreamed it would be.