Remember Me

〃26〃

All the voices in my head
Are coming to life
They're getting louder and I'm
I'm terrified
How do you run from your own mind?
Is this what I've become?
Take it back
What have I done?
༻༒༺

Felix wakes up some time early in the morning, immediately sitting up, covered in sweat, and heaving. He coughs, and looks around frantically for any sign that he's in the real world now.

There's no clocks slowly ticking by, going back an hour every time he blinks, there's no bright lights in his face or straps tying him down as he's being electrocuted. There's no one in his face, asking him what his name is, and he's not on the floor doing push ups only to get kicked down when he pushed himself back up.

He flops down on his back and stares at the ceiling for a moment, thinking about his dreams before they start to slip away, and then he's crying. He turns over in his sleeping bag, pushes his face into the mound of clothes he uses as a pillow, and just cries.

The pain of being electrocuted is still there, in the sides of his temples, as if his dream were real. Who knows, maybe it actually happened, and that's why he can't remember anything.

He starts to cry more, in pity of himself and he cries because he's essentially broken.

Twenty minutes later he's sleepy and he's no longer crying harshly, instead choosing to halfway fall asleep with his face in the clothes, suffocating himself. That doesn't matter though, he finds out. He can hold his breath for a long amount of time, and he's pretty sure that's because he's been held underneath water consecutively before. (If his dreams are memories.)

That's when Cry goes back to working on cleaning his guns out, when Felix's shoulders are no longer shaking violently. He had immediately stopped what he was doing when Felix had abruptly sat up, and then relaxed when Pewds had laid back down.

That's when he was originally going to go back to work, but as he watched, Felix had turn around and started sobbing into his "pillows".

So instead he watched as the white haired man broke down in his little bubble, making sure that he didn't try and hurt himself or anything. He felt guilty that he couldn't help Felix exactly, but he learned from watching his brother that everyone was different to PTSD, and sometimes they needed to handle it on their own.

He didn't want to risk hurting Felix's healing process or whatever its called, so instead he watched, and would intervene if the man did something stupid, like try and find a gun to kill himself with.

He didn't though, instead he cried his heart out and then fell asleep, which Cry was greatful for, and went back to cleaning out his guns. He hadn't done it in awhile, so he needed to be thorough, but that was fine.

༻༒༺ 

Jack paces for several moments, trying to decide on what to do. He knows, somewhere deep inside, that what they're doing is wrong. It might be the end of the world but they don't have any right to do what they're doing.

Brainwash people.  Make them go out into the world and do horrible things.

Jack scoffs at himself. He helps them. He lets these people, these new recruits trust him instead of telling them to just run. He doesn't tell them to get far away from the military as you possibly can and pray that they never find you, instead he keeps his mouth shut like a good soldier. 

"Has Pewdiepie found him yet? What's he done so far?" Snake asks, walking into Jack's office.

He was one of the first people that the military brainwashed. When he was recruited, he was silent, and shy. He refused to kill people, insisted that what they were doing back then was horrible, and so the Director gave Jack and a bunch of other doctors orders to try a new method and try to brainwash him, because it was insisted that they couldn't lose him. Snake was and has been a great asset to the militia. His rank is a Captain, and while all of this is great, Jack still remembers who Snake used to be, and he hates himself for taking that person away.