What She Couldn't Say | ✓

11

Status: Draft

February 29th, 2016 12:20 pm

To: Liam

From: Abigial

So you're sitting at the table next to mine. You've been inching your way closer since lunch started.

Every time one of your friends comes to sit down you scoot over in my direction just a little bit to let them sit.

God Liam, I hate this. I hate it so much.

I want you to just grow some damn balls and sit by me but I also want you to know that I can't just forgive you like that.

I see you've been avoiding Jasmine though. She tries to come talk to you and you always turn around, and walk in the other direction.

Is this your way of showing me you're sorry, for you to earn my forgiveness?

I hate to say that it's working, because it's not. But I still feel that pang in my chest when I see you do that.

I love you Liam. Even if I don't wan to admit it. And yes, it sucks so much to have to pretend I hate you.

But here's the thing, maybe it's for the best.

Did you hear that?

Maybe we aren't meant to be. Maybe you should go your separate way, and I do the same.

Just for the damn sake of ourselves.

This is all a huge mess. Can't you see?

Your friend Jack came and talked to me today. Well, he sat by me in Algebra and attempted to start a conversation.

It didn't really work.

He asked the questions you used to, and I have a feeling you sent him.

Am I right?

I see you turn your head when your friends aren't paying attention.

I'm about to just get up and come talk to you. To at least make it less awkward.

But that's not the for me to do. I shouldn't. I can't.

I won't.

I want you to Liam.

Fight for me. Like you used to.

Why can't you?

You gave up Jasmine. You even said that to me numerous times.

So why can't you come over here and talk to me?

Why?

I see your eyes, they're burning into the side of my face.

They used to warm me.

Your eyes could melt me with one single glance.

But I won't want to be warm anymore Liam.

I want to be burned.

So please, come talk to me.

Do I have to scream it?

Your friend Derek just came over here, he's sitting across from me but here I am typing away at a draft I'll never send you.

"You're Abigail right?" He asked.

I looked up and said "that's me. Do you need something?"

I think he was stunned at my lack of interest.

But what he said next had my attention faster than that car you used to drive.

"Liam wants you to come sit with us. You two used to be friends right?"

You wanted me to come sit with you? Yet you send your friend to ask me?

Is this kindergarten Liam?

Where you write me a love letter and have a friend deliver it to me?

This isn't middle school.

And this isn't what I wanted.

So I said "if he wants me to sit with him, he should be the one to say so. Sorry Derek." I gave him a dismissive hand before grabbing my bag and standing up to leave.

I made it out of the cafeteria door before I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Abby. Please wait." You pleaded.

But the question is, why should I?