C'Mon, Would It Really Be So Bad?

Tattoos

I scrunched up my nose. "On your day off?"

"I know, it was a scheduling fuck up. But I will be free for the rest of the day after this is done if you want to do something?"

"Oh, thanks, but I'm fine. I mean, go do whatever you were going to do today. Don't worry about trying to keep me company."

"No, I have a really good idea actually. I'll let you know when we're on our way back so you can be ready to go, okay?"

"Go where?"

"It's a surprise," he smiled. He put on his sunglasses and left. 

When he got back to the hotel later, he called a car to come pick us up. Again, I asked where he was taking me but he wouldn't tell me. We eventually pulled up in front of a tattoo shop. I turned to look at him in question.

"We're gonna get that tattoo that you hate covered up." He said this matter-of-factly and then got out of the car and started walking up to the shop. 

"I have no idea what I would even cover it up with!" I yelled after him as I jogged to catch up. 

He held the door open for me and shrugged, "It's fine, we'll figure something out. And I'm paying, by the way."

"Ed, no -"

He shushed me. "Nope. Non-negotiable."

We talked to the tattoo artist and showed him my tattoo and came up with some ideas. I liked Ed's idea the best. He suggested that we get matching tattoos of a plain black airplane inside of an outline of New York state. It symbolized how we first met. I would have never thought of that on my own. 

I went first and Ed pulled up a chair so he could watch closely as the tattoo artist worked. I reached out to grab his hand as soon as I felt the needle. It was going to be a small tattoo, but it was still going to be bigger than the first one and in a spot that hurt. Thankfully, it took no time at all.

I jokingly tried to convince Ed to get his tattoo in the same spot as mine, but he smartly refused. A dainty little tattoo on a dude's hip bone would have been very feminine and off-putting. He got it added into his already full tattoo sleeve. They turned out perfect and I was so relieved to be rid of my first tattoo.

Since it didn't take long, it was still pretty early for us and we weren't ready to go back to the hotel yet. We walked around a bit to see if we could find something else fun to do. The tattoo shop was on the outskirts of the city's downtown area, so we reasoned that there had to be something. We were delighted to stumble upon a little hole in the wall bar that had only two other people in it. 

"I guess all of the other guys are out at fancy restaurants treating their ladies for Valentine's Day," I teased him.

He pointed up to a sign behind the bar. "Yeah, and those dumbasses are probably paying twenty bucks a glass for dry wine. You and I get to enjoy $2 pitchers," he grinned. 

Fine by me. We ordered two pitchers to share and went to sit down in the booth that was farthest away. 

"So," he started. He took a gulp from his plastic cup. "I'm really sorry about Matt. I feel like I should have noticed, but you haven't really seemed upset. How are you taking it?"

I wanted to say Yeah, you haven't noticed anything because you've been avoiding me, but I didn't. "I'm okay. I was the one who finally ended it. I tried talking to him about it before deciding what to do, but that went nowhere. I basically told him that if he couldn't step it up as a boyfriend then I was done because there was no point to it. He didn't do anything to try to prove me wrong, so."

"He's such a dick, Sam. Please don't go back to him after you get back home. He doesn't deserve any more chances."

"I know. It's just hard because we've been together for so long and I do love him. Or at least I did. And it was so good in the beginning, you know? Once you see how good a relationship can be, you're reluctant to throw it away just in case it's possible to get back to that place."

"I know exactly what you mean. And it's a lot easier to just stay in a relationship instead of dealing with breaking up."

"It's comfortable," I agreed.

"Mhmm. But comfortable isn't always good. You need someone who will treat you right - like they actually want to be with you and make you happy. Not like it's some fucking chore."

I told him I knew he was right but I didn't have anything else to say after that. I emptied my plastic cup and went to pour myself more from the pitcher, waiting for him to start another conversation topic. But he didn't. He was just looking at me. I could see the gears turning in his head.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I laughed.

"I'm just gonna say it. You are amazing. You're so beautiful and so talented and smart and fun and kind and you're just such a...great person. You're special. You know all of that, right? You know you don't have to settle for these losers. You could have anyone you wanted. Anyone in their right mind could see that they'd be so lucky to be with you."

"Damn it, Ed." I had started to tear up at his incredibly kind words. I kept blinking but still had to wipe tears away as they fell. "Thank you. Thanks for making me cry in a random dive bar on Valentine's Day." 

He laughed and held his cup up for me to toast to. "Best Valentine's Day ever, right?"

We went back to the hotel and back to our own rooms for the night. Neither of us said anything about keeping the night going with a movie or a sleep-over. But after I had changed into my pajamas and turned on my TV there was a knock at my door. It was Ed, bringing me some A&D ointment for my fresh tattoo.

I put some on and we sat down on the edge of my bed talking and laughing about random stuff like we usually did on the nights we drank or smoked too much and stayed up until the sun started rising. And all of a sudden I had this urge to lean over and hug him. Really hug him. I was having a moment. 

When I pulled away he gave me a weird look. "What was that for?"

"For the tattoo. And the whole day. And, just everything. Thank you."

Our eyes locked and I froze. I couldn't pull any farther away. Our arms were still wrapped around each other and our faces were very, very close. I was in a trance. I looked from his eyes down to his lips and one of his hands came up to the side of my neck. His lips parted and I didn't know if he was about to say something or...if something else was about to happen. And I never found out because his cell phone started ringing.

We both jumped at the sound and he took his arms away from me to dig his phone out of his pocket. He looked at the screen and muted the volume as it kept ringing. He looked at me like he was a little flustered. Then he got off the bed.

"Sorry, I gotta take this. Talk tomorrow?"

"Yeah, goodnight," I nodded. 

What just happened? Did we almost just kiss?