C'Mon, Would It Really Be So Bad?

Tattoos

I woke up to Ed whispering "Hey" in my ear. 

He was spooning me. One of his hands was on my bare stomach, just above my underwear. His shirt that I had slept in had ridden up, exposing everything below my boobs. I jumped a little and he chuckled, his lips still right next to my ear. His warmth breath tickled and I turned to lay on my back so I could see him. He didn't take his hand off of my stomach and remained leaning over me. 

"Good morning," he smiled.

"Morning. What time is it? I feel like I was only asleep for like two hours."

"Yeah...I hate to do this, but I kind of need to kick you out."

"What? Why??"

"Just to make sure no one's awake yet and sees you leaving my room. They might...assume some things."

"Right, good point. I agree."

I wanted to stay in bed and fall back asleep with him, but I totally understood. That would open a whole can of worms and make everything weird and messy. Neither one of us wanted any rumors to start. Of course if someone saw me sneaking out of Ed's room it would look like we had slept together. Ed didn't need to deal with possible tabloid stories and I didn't need this to somehow get back to my boyfriend. 

So I awkwardly left his bed and felt like I was doing a walk of shame. It made things kind of weird between us for the next couple of weeks. I wasn't really sure why. I thought maybe it was because something could have happened between us that night. We had never slept in the same bed before and hadn't done it again since. Then I thought he might have been drunk and regretted asking me to spend the night with him. Or maybe he was still just trying to deal with what happened to him. 

He had started to act like his normal self again, though. I mean he wasn't drinking like a psycho or going out to clubs anymore. After shows we all just hung out in the green room or on one of the buses like we used to before all of this happened. The only thing was, we didn't have any more one on one hang outs. He had stopped suggesting them and seemed to avoid it if I brought the subject up. We still talked and joked around, but there was no more flirting and he acted like he didn't even want to sit next to me whenever we would all go out to eat or watch a movie.

On Valentine's Day we all had another off day. I was in the lobby of the hotel we were staying in when Ed came off of the elevators and started walking towards the main doors. We were saying hi to each other while outside a delivery person was getting a bouquet of flowers out of a van and bringing them inside. We both looked over as the doors slid open.

"Ohhh, maybe those are for you," he said.

They weren't. They were for the lady at the front desk. "Yeah right," I scoffed. "Matt would never do that. Especially since we br-" I caught myself before finishing. I hadn't told Ed, or anyone, that we had broken up. I was afraid it would make Ed think about his own breakup again and I also didn't want to deal with my friends and family saying that they told me so and then jumping up and down with joy. 

Ed's eyes went big. "Did you guys break up??" 

I averted my eyes. "Yeah. About a week ago." I wasn't devastated about it, but it still sucked that it didn't work out and that Matt didn't give a shit. It also kinda sucked to see other girls getting flowers from their boyfriends on Valentine's Day. It made me wonder what it would be like to have a boyfriend who cared enough to just do something simple and sweet like that. 

Some of Ed's team now appeared in the lobby and walked outside to the parking lot. Ed saw them and turned back to me, "I have to go right now and take care of some press stuff, but I'll be back in a couple of hours."