Adopted By The Sidemen ||SDMN FF||

Chapter 14

The footsteps gradually get louder and louder and I know they're all behind me, but I keep my pace up.

I know I'm going to get in trouble with the mall cop or whatever but right now, fuck it. My anger is still boiling inside of me and I want to hit something.

I make my way back to the cars we can in and hop in the front seat of Simons red Range Rover. Before anyone enters the car I have a mental breakdown. I start hitting the dashboard with all my might and I don't stop. The hits just keep going through. One after the other. Meanwhile I was also screaming and yelling, straining my voice.

I eventually calm down and steady my breaths and just sit there holding my hair back out of my face. I wasn't crying but I was just very sweaty for some reason.

Ethan, Tobi, the Cals, Simon, Josh and JJ are outside the car giving me time. Their not starring at me but I can tell they keep looking over.

I Place my arm on the arm rest with my head facing out the window.

My breathes soon become regular again and Simon, Josh and JJ hop into the car. I'm guessing the others went back.

Most of the car ride was silent except for an occasional giggle from JJ from twitter or something.

"Their swinging by later today init" Simon speaks up in the uncomfortable silence which I had created.

I don't say anything and I just continue to stare out the window. I acknowledge them but I choose to not interact with them. A bit of small talk starts up when we're close to the house.

"It's been going so good recently, with my anger and bipolar.." I speak up uneasily, "but I had to ruin it.. I had to FUCKING RUIN IT!" I say slamming my hand on the dashboard again.

Simon doesn't say anything and just looks a bit nervous, like I'll break his car.

"Sorry" I just say. The car ride goes dead silent again until we reach the house which is only occupied by Vik.

We enter and I go straight to my room. I close the door behind me and lock it. I run over to my dresser and pull out a pack of smokes. I take one and place them back. I Place the cigarette in my mouth. I take the lighter which is one my night table and I flick it on.

I light the cigarette and open the window.

I don't always smoke. Let's rephrase that. I never smoke unless I'm feeling stressed or super uptight. It just relaxes me. I don't enjoy it very much but it's something I got a habit of doing when I need it.

I inhale a bit and blow it out the window. I just sit with my knees on floor and my cigarette resting between two fingers.

I keep the process up until I finish off the cigarette. I take the but of it and quietly open my room door. I rush to the bathroom and shut the door. I throw the but down the toilet and flush it.

They don't need to know that I smoke.

Run the water out of the faucet and put some in my hands. I throw the water over my face and I just let it air dry.

I look up and stare myself in the mirror. It's like I'm having a starring competition with myself but I'm just criticizing myself.

I quietly curse as I grab a towel and dry my face.

I open the door and walk back to my room. I go to the desk with all the consoles and plop into the neon blue chair. I log into the computers and open up YouTube right away. I go to my subscriptions and I scroll down to the video I was last watching. Just some random games from the guys.

I curl up into a ball type thing in the chair and I click the video and turn up the volume.

After a while I am jut dying from the lads and I'm clutching my stomach in laughter.

This is just to prove that even in my most down moments they still cheer me up.

Knock. Knock.

"Come in" I say and I pause Simons GTA video.

Ethan opens the door and comes in.

"Hey" I say.

"Hey, how you holding up?" He says a bit quietly. I nod.

"I just wanted to say thank you, for today, she was cheating on me and I saw them kiss today..." he starts to trail off.

"It's ok.. I understand.." I say.

"And I'm glad to beat up anyone's ass for you guys." I smile as I speak. He just smiles.

"Come here." I say as I stand up from the chair. We hug it out.

"Thank you peasant" he says. I push him away.

"Oiii. Shut your fucking mouth" I say. He laughs and I just roll my eyes.