My Bad Ass White Boy

20

"Or what old man?" I picked him up and started tickling him. He erupted into a laughing fit. "Babe help me." He pleaded. Jay took him out of my arms. He cuddled into her neck.

"Lets go." She said. I grabbed my cheesecake and followed behind Jay. Halfway home, Nolan fell asleep in the back seat.

"So are you gonna keep spoiling my son?" I asked Jay.

"So he is yours?" I nodded my head.

"He's forever my responsibility. I don't want him near Riley."

"Are you sure you want to take up that responsibility? I mean you do work for my dad."

"I'm more than sure. I will protect this kid at all cost just like do with you." I pinched her cheek. "I hope you make a great step mother too."

"Kid thinks I'm his girlfriend." She snickered.

"Come on Jay. Nolan adores you. I think after he gets past the fact that you're mine, then he will adore you as a mother. What do you say?"

"Fine because I'm already falling in love with him."

"Damn. You fell faster for the kid than you did with me." Now I'm fucking jealous of the kid.

"Christian, he's four. I'm eighteen. What you think Imma marry him?" We pulled up at my new apartment. I made sure I cleaned up the place of everything. I saw Nolan wake up from his sleep.

"Hey bud, welcome to your new home." I said. I unbuckled him from his booster seat and carried him inside.

"So you're my dad?" He asked. "I've never had a dad before."

"Yes I'm your new dad and that's Jay, my girlfriend." He eyed her up and down.

"You mean my girlfriend." Ran to her. She picked him up and kissed his cheek.

"I'm not afraid to spank you." I told him. "Eyes off my woman." Jaylah laughed. Her laugh was music to my ears.

"Fine old man. I'll lay off under one condition."

"What?"

"Ice cream." He said with a smirk. Little bastard scheming me out of food. Smart kid.

"Fine. What's your favorite?"

"Reese's." He said with a bright smile on his face.

"So is mine." I said. I went into the freezer and got out the Reese's ice cream. I scooped out some for Nolan and some for me.

"Damn none for me?" Jay said while wrapping her arms around my torso.

"Sorry I ran out." I lied. She grabbed the container. She pushed me.

"Little liar." She grabbed a spoon and ate out if the container. Nolan sat on the bar stool and waited for his ice cream.

"Here you go." I passed his bowl.

"Thanks old man." he said.

"Stop calling me that."

"I mean, you are old. What are you? 80? 90 years old?" He put a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.

"Bro, I'm nineteen." Hurting my feelings and shit. "But for real tell me about yourself. When your birthday?"

"February 2nd. What's your favorite superhero?"

"Superman."

"I love wonder woman." He smiled.

"Why?"

"Because she's smoking hot." He smiled.

"Isn't she." I agreed with him. I saw Jaylah look up from her phone and glare at me. "But you're sexier babe." I said to cover up what I agreed to.

"I better be." She flipped her hair and turned her attention back into the phone.

"Dad, do you have Grand Theft Auto?" I heard Jaylah snicker behind her iPhone.

"You're too young for that game."

"Because mommy lets me play it when she plays with other guys." Jaylah looked up from her phone.

"Christian, you're ex is a thot." Jaylah said. Why the hell will she fuck dudes when Nolan is home?

"I know she is." I said. "Nolan, I don't want you playing that game."

"Why?" He said with a little pout.

"Because it's inappropriate. Maybe when you're older but, I don't want you doing the same stuff at school or anything." I feel like a hypocrite because that's my profession. Nolan doesn't know that.

He turned to Jay. "Babe, back me up."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry man. I can't help you here." She said while picking at her nails.

"I thought you were on my side." He started crying. I carried him to the family room where I had my X-Box one.

"Nolan stop crying. Here we can play Lego Batman." I handed him the game.

"Fine, but I still want Grand Theft Auto."

This kid gonna be the death of me.

A/n: fOuR yEaR oLdS dOn'T sPeAk In FuLl SeNtAnCeS ... at the the age of four, I was speaking in full sentences thanks to Leap Frog, Sesame Street and my mom's potty mouth. I was able to cuss my Pre-K teacher off without batting an eyelash (thanks mom). Nolan was exposed to shit that a lot of four years olds weren't exposed to, thanks to his mother. Even then, I can make Nolan what ever I want want him to be. Even then, I can make him a genius or the youngest hooker if I wanted to. It's a fictional story and I can make him whatever my imagination wants him to be. Stop getting butt hurt if you or your little brother/sister/cousin/nephew/niece/uncle/aunts can't speak like that at the age of four. You're reading and commenting in full sentence now, that's all that matters (pun not intended).