High School Fling?

Rage

"Ben wait," he said trying to keep up with me. I pretended like I wasn't listening. Soon after I got to Room 408, our room well we have a lot of rooms but this was one of them. I stopped for a second and looked behind me. Andy was coming up the stairs. I opened the door and slammed it in his face. I sat on the couch. Andy quietly came in, closed the door and sat on my right.

I could hear his breathing. It was intense but quiet at the same time. I don't know if that makes any sense or not, but it does to me. We sat there, surrounded by just quietness. It bothered me a little bit. Why wasn't he saying anything? Was he waiting for me to make the first move and start talking? Well if he was thinking that, then he was dead wrong. Aaahh Fuck it!

"So ready to talk?" I said folding my arms. He didn't move a muscle. "Andy!" 

"What?!" he yelled parting his arms.

I looked around the room and closed my eyes "Andy, why did you lead me on? Why did you do all those things with me?" I opened my eyes, only to look at his face staring straight forward. "Andy, for the love of - "

"I did it because of your body!"

I was speechless. Seconds passed, but they seemed like years. Like I was Steve Rogers aka Captain America trapped in that cube of ice, and as the world around me continued I was stuck in time.

"What?"

"I only wanted to have sex with you," his voice was shaky like something wasn't right.

I didn't think twice about his answer and just got up and left. I felt the floor vibrating as I took those steps. I was irritated, angry, furious.

"Ben, wait... what did I say?" I could barely hear him as I entered my room and sat on the first bed my eyes laid eyes on.

My head was in my hands already. I knew that that wasn't the answer I was looking for, it just couldn't be. He entered the room quietly but he didn't sit next to me. He went to the balcony. Being 16 and having watched a shit ton of movies, I genuinely thought for a moment there that he was going to jump. Crazy right?  Of course, he didn't jump. He stayed there for what felt like an eternity to me. He had his palms placed on the solid cold concrete, his head up towards the sky, lost in the stars. I would occasionally look over at him thinking about what he could be thinking about.

I could barely see him coming to me from the corner of my eye. He sat on my left. For a moment there I thought I need to end this before anyone gets really hurt.

"I think we should break up," I didn't look him in the eyes when I said that. I didn't even know why I sad break up. We weren't even together, like as a couple. I didn't even know what we were. Just two guys fooling around, experimenting well I wasn't experimenting since  knew I was gay, but maybe he was, maybe he was just confused.

"What? Bu-but why?" his shaky voice signaled me that he was crying.

"We don't even know what we're doing Andy."

"Bu-"

"Please let me finish," I said raising a hand at him. "You don't even know how you feel about me. You have a girlfriend who loves you."

"But I don't love her," his right hand moved from his heart to the air.

"You do. You're maybe just confused. All these new feelings and emotions and-and sentiments..."

"So that's your excuse?" he briskly got up.

"Andy... please..." I sighed.

"No tell me... is that the only reason? Because you think some girl loves me?"

"No," I stood up to extending my hands, palms facing downwards to try and calm him down. "You're a senior. You're going to graduate in a couple of weeks."

"So?" he was trying to make eye contact now.

"So... I don't know if you're going to be here in this city, or.. go abroad," I was walking up and down the room the whole time. "I don't know if I'm ever going to see you again."

At that moment I cracked. I couldn't held my tears anymore. I just cried. He took me in his warm embrace. I could feel his heartbeat. It was so... melodious. It calmed me a little bit.

I sniffed. "We can't do this anymore."