Forgiving is Hard

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( FLASHBACK:


To: Andy

Am I distracting you from Mr. S' English lesson?



From: Andy

You're never a distraction Ben. :) Besides, all the boys here are watching you outside the window if you haven't noticed.

To: Andy

So? Let them watch. At least they're not watching you texting me. lol ;)

"Boys, please concentrate. What's so funny? Mr. Zota?"

"It's this sophomore kid outside our class. He won't leave so were watchin' him."

From: Andy

They're crazy. lol :*

To: Andy

I know. Going, gym class. Not that I'm playing. I think I'm gonna chat with you a little more.

"Okay kid come with us," these two jocks said as they raised me up and dragged me into their classroom. "See Mr. S, we told you."

I watched as the entire class was staring at me. "OK Mr. Rano, I think we've had enough already."

"Oh come on Mr. S, we wanna hear him sing a sneak peek of what he'll sing at our graduation ceremony," one of them said. "SING...SING... SING.. SING... SING... SING..."  it was a crowd now.

"Sorry Mr. S," I said bowing my head down. I looked Andy in the eyes, gave him a smirk which turned into a smile, and left the classroom. I could hear the boys murmuring about something. I bet it was me. I didn't give a shit though. I could see Andy's eyes following me and then...

End of the FLASHBACK )

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Present Time

"Hey, Ben are you OK?" Aethan said. 

"Yeah," I said looking down at my plate. We were having lunch at the cafeteria.

I kept thinking about Andy and that night. The way he forced himself on me. How could someone turn from Hearts and Kisses, to... I don't wanna think about it. He had been trying to get me alone to talk about what had happened, but I wasn't interested in his excuses. You might say that I should had given him the benefit of the doubt, but I just couldn't, not now. I needed some time to process it all. And even when he would come to me when I was alone, I would just ignore him. It might sound childish, but it just felt right at that time. I needed it.

.................................................................................................................................

Fast forward to an April Saturday evening, which meant MOVIE NIGHT. Basically, the dorm's headmaster would give us the key to the conference room so we could watch a movie or two. Nothing too fancy. A projector, a computer, and a wall. Not hard to figure that out. I was in my room listening to music while doing a bunch of homework. Suddenly Andy came in.

"Hey is your balcony's door's doorknob still broken?" he said. And yes, we indeed had a door that led to the balcony.

I didn't even look at him. "No," I said. My words were colder than ice, colder than Antarctica, colder than the Boomerang Nebula in the constellation Centaurus.

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