Who Am I?

Chapter Twelve:

Jake: Allie, please, I really can’t stand not having you as my girlfriend. I miss you, I miss hugging you and holding you and kissing you and hearing your voice. I just miss everything about you. Please come back to me.

Allie: So you’ll admit you made a mistake by breaking up with me?

Jake: Yes. The biggest mistake of my life. I love you.

Allie: good.

Whenever I need to clear my head and think straight, I take a shower. There’s something about the hot water and the steam that always makes me feel better. I grab my iPod and speakers and head to the bathroom. I turn on the water and undress. I look at myself in the mirror.

I’ve lost a lot of weight in the last three years. When I was in sixth grade, I was so fat that I couldn’t see my feet. Now, looking straight down, I could barely see my toes over my boobs. I have totally slimmed out and I actually feel pretty good about my figure. I mean, there is always more work that I could do to improve, but I am a lot better than I was before.

Climbing into the shower, I let the hot water trickle down my back. I close my eyes and think about my situation with Jake.

I don’t want to seem easy, but I also really miss him a lot. I wish that he just didn’t break up with me in the first place. I also really need to focus on school though. Then there’s Bionca. Like, what if they do really have a thing going on? Then I’ll just get hurt again. Ugh.

Okay, this is what I’ll do. I am going to tell Jake that I still like him and that I want to get back together with him, but that I can’t because of schoolwork. I’ll say that my parents are really hard on me about grades and that I don’t want to disappoint them. That way, I’m using his same excuse for breaking up with me for my reason why I can’t get back together. Then, we will see where it goes from there.

After I finish washing my hair and body, I turn off the water and step out of the shower. I grab my towel and wrap it around me.

As I walk back into my room, I see that there are three messages on Skype. All three are from Jake.

Jake: Allie?

Jake: Hello?

Jake: I’m crying because the girl that I love doesn’t love me back. She’s the most adorable girl. She’s so special. I just want to kiss her and whisper in her ear that I love her. But she doesn’t love me back. She doesn’t want me back.

Shit. That was really adorable.

Allie: That girl does want you back, and she does love you. She just can’t because she needs to get good grades.

Jake: How do you know that she really wants me and loves me?

Allie: I promise you it is.

Jake: Then will she kill me if she turned around and saw that I was standing on her balcony looking at her in a towel?

WHAT?!?!?!?! I don’t know what to do! I can’t turn around because then what if he’s staring at me in a towel. Why is he even here!? My heart is racing.

Allie: are you serious?

Jake: Yes. Turn around.

Allie: I need to get dressed.

Jake: No you don’t. ;)

Allie: shut up you perv. You’re not helping your case.

Jake: It’s cold out here and its starting to snow. Can you please let me in?

Allie: No.