Final Fantasy Short Stories | (2016-2017)

Story twenty two: Noctis in... "101 ways to beat stress!" part two!

Narrator: "Hello everybody. And welcome back to part two of our little story: '101 ways to beat stress'. Starring... Noctis Luis Cealum..."

Noctis: *waves* "Hey guys! Especially the ladies." ;3

Fangirls: "SQUEEEEEEEE!!!" 😍

Narrator: "...and let's not forget our underpaid, mediocre, pain in neck cameraman."

Cameraman: "Hey! I have a NAME!" >:(

Narrator: "Nobody cares. Onto the story. We will now list seven more ways to beat stress..." u_u

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Narrator: "Number eight; Go to a Flea Market."

*a flea jumps onto Noctis' arm*

Noctis: "Huh? Ew..." ;-; *swats it*

*another flea jumps on his arm*

Noctis: "What the--?" .-. *swats it*

*a giant blob of fleas attack Noctis*

Noctis: "Wha--? WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" >0<

Narrator: "Not that kind of Flea Market..." -.-

Cameraman: "Sorry, I couldn't resist." :)

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Narrator: "Number nine; Try painting a picture."

Noctis: *finishes painting* "Ta-da! Well? What do you think?" ^o^

Cameraman: "What the heck is that supposed to be?" ;-;

Noctis: "Can't you tell?! It's a banana!" >:0

Cameraman: "Really? 'cause it looks more like a giraffe trying to sniff its butt." :/

Noctis: *dramatic gasp* "GASP!" >:O

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Narrator: "Number ten; Visit a church or cathedral."

Noctis: *at a church* :)

Woman: "All right, everybody. Now it is time for us to sing a beloved hymn from our hymnals on page 24. Ready? Here we go..!" :D

*everybody starts singing* ^o^

Noctis: *starts to sing, but then starts hacking* "COUGH COUGH HACK!" :O "Sorry! Excuse m-- HACK COUGHY COUGH COUGHY!" :O "HACK HACKY COUGH! AHEM! COUGHY COUGH COUGH! A-HEM!" :O

Everyone: "..." 0_0;

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Narrator: "Number eleven; Go bird watching."

Noctis: "The birds are beautiful today." :) Look at that one! That one's a striking blue... And that one's a crimson red... And HOLY COW THAT ONE IS AS FAT AS THE DICKENS!" \(°0°)/

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Narrator: Number twelve; Practice listening while others do the talking.

Prompto: "So she was like: 'eewww, I hate sour cream!', you know?" :D

Noctis: "Mm-hm..." ._.

Prompto: "And then he was like: 'well you better start liking it! It's good for your buns and thighs!', right?" :D

Noctis: "Mm-hm..." ._.

Prompto: "And then I was like... Hey, are you even listening?" :/

Noctis: *obviously texting* "Huh? Yeah, of course! We're talking about Disney Princesses, right?" o.o

Prompto: *epic facepalm* -_-

Noctis: "Oh hang on! Lightning just texted me... And shoo-whee! She is feeling extra crispy today!" :D

Cameraman: "So much for actually flipp'in listening..." ;-;

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Narrator: "Number thirteen; Do only one thing at a time."

Noctis: "Okay. First, I'll inhale." *inales deeply* ;-; "Now, I'll blink." *blinks hard* >_< "And now, I'll exhale." *loudly exhales* °0° "Now, I will swallow my saliva." *gulps* ._. "And NOW I'll take one step forward..." >.>

Cameraman: "WAIT A SECOND! That is NOT what that means! Mercifully heavens..." >o<

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Narrator: "And Number fourteen; Drop any annoying and time consuming acquaintances."

Noctis: *holding Ignis bridal style* ;-;

Ignis: "Um... Why are we doing this again?" O_o

Noctis: "Well, you know... Ignis IS kind of annoying and time consuming, so..." >_>  *drops Ignis*

Ignis: "Oof!" >.< "Oooo... Ow. Yep. That's a fracture in the posterior..." >~<

Cameraman: "Okay, this is cute and all, but you DON'T have to be so literal, Noctis!" -.-

Ignis: "What is so cute about some of my butt bones now being broken?" >:(

Noctis: "Heh heh..." ^_^;

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Narrator: "Thank you all very much once again for reading and for all the support you gave on the previous chapters. Please consider sharing your thoughts about this chapter, and in the meantime, we'll be getting ready for part 3 of Noctis in...'101 ways to beat stress'. Until next time, my friends." u_u

Cameraman: "Ugh. I'm going to bed now..." -_-

Noctis: "Stay awesome, you guys." *peace sign* ✌ :)

End of story twenty two