Chris:
Me and Jordan let go of each other and I pushed myself from the floor up onto the edge of the bed. I dropped my face into my hands. It was a huge awkward silence. I didn’t know what to say and I damn sure knew they didn’t know what to say. I mean, I was just pointing a fucking gun at my own head. What is there to say about it? I feel like I just lost all common sense honestly. I rubbed my temples as so many thoughts scrambled in and out of my head. Why is nothing making sense to me right now? My thoughts have been all scrambled up lately.
“Chris…” Skye said, trailing off. I slowly looked up at her but she was walking toward me. She reached past me and grabbed the gun off of the bed. “You… you don’t… please don’t ever do that again,” she stuttered. Shaking my head, I stretched back onto the bed. Jordan was now backing out of the room. I lifted my head up and he nodded his head toward Skye. It seemed like he was telling me to just talk to her. When he was out of the room, Skye looked really uncomfortable. I knew she was. I felt like… like I messed up.
To my surprise, she sat down next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. “Chris, you know I do really care about you right? And I do love you,” she told me. I didn’t answer her. I put my hands over my face and let out a deep sigh. “Sit up.” She tried to pull me up but I didn’t sit up. I couldn’t. I felt dead. I felt her lay down next to me. I felt her breath on my face. Why would she get this close to me after I just put a gun to my head? I uncovered my face and turned my head to look at her. Our faces were only about an inch apart from each other.
“What are you thinking?” she asked. I shrugged my shoulders. I was thinking way too much. I can’t think straight right now. She put her hand on my chest and smiled at me. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t want to be around you. Cause I do want to be around you, I love being around you Chris. I’ve just been thinking about a lot that’s all,” she explained to me. “And you don’t think I haven’t been thinking about a lot either?” I asked her. She shook her head. “I didn’t say you weren’t Chris. I’m just telling you why I’ve been acting how I’ve been acting towards you. But just because I’m thinking a lot doesn’t mean I don’t want to be around you. I love being around you like I said. But I block out the world when I’m in deep thought.”
I sighed and sat up. She sat up with me. “Well…well… I don’t know.” I got up and grabbed my keys to my Corvette out of the top drawer of the dresser. “Chris… where are you going? Don’t-“ I cut her off. “I’m not leaving. Well I’m leaving but not leaving leaving. I’ll be back whenever,” I told her. I looked at the time. Noon. “Don’t come after me either. Cause you don’t know where I’m going to be,” I said. She was about to argue back but then she stopped. “Okay, if that’s what’s going to make you happy then fine.” She smiled and stood up.
I nodded my head and walked out of the room. When I passed Jordan’s room, he wasn’t paying attention because he was playing the video game. Good. Luckily Kid wasn’t downstairs because he would’ve tried to stop me from leaving. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and made my way out the door. This is the first time I’ve been out since I got back home.
Me and Kid stay in the house because as yall know, we got niggas after us. But shit, I’m not going to lock myself up in this fucking house no more. If they catch me then they just catch me. I’ll just have to fight them off… or kill them. But that’s the last thing I want to do. I don’t want to kill anybody ever again. But if I had to then shit, I gotta do what I gotta do.
