I remember what it was like to be touched by him. I remember the first time he touched me, and I remember in that moment never wanting to be touched that way by anyone else ever again.
"You know, I think you'll like it here." Gaby said, dragging me from my thoughts. How ironic is it that I'm living with the person who caused this entire mess?
I looked around their house like it was my first time being here. It's nice and I'm grateful, but it isn't home. "I can't believe I'm going to be a great aunt." I turned around to see my aunt leaning against the door frame. A small smile crept onto my face as I rubbed my stomach, remembering that I'm going to be a momma.
"My little Onika is gonna be a mommy." She said, as she walked towards me with her arms outstretched to hug me. I accepted her hug and held on to her tightly. "I can't believe it either." I said barley above a whisper.
Some days I feel like it's all a dream. I can't fathom that I am actually carrying a tiny human inside of me. A human that is apart of Rihmeek and I both.
"He's gonna be spoiled rotten." She said. I narrowed my eyebrows, "He?" I questioned.
"Oh, I just know it's a boy. We have too many girls in the family." We both shared a laugh before she grabbed my suitcase and unzipped it. "Oh, you don't have to do that." I said.
I tried putting away as much as possible to keep from her having to do it but she insisted I let her. "Your mom called me." She said.
"What did she have to say?" Since I left the clinic my parents and I haven't spoke to each other much. I try to avoid them just as much as they try to avoid me.
"Said that she misses you," I rolled my eyes, "And she said that she's glad you're here and away from all the stress back in Philly."
Stress. Right. The only stress I had back in Philly was them. If they wouldn't ride my ass so hard I wouldn't have a problem.
I chose not to say anything and kept doing the task at hand. There's not much I could say, honestly, nothing I say will change anything.
-
I picked up Rich from Michelle's and on our way home I picked him up something to eat.
"What are we doing this weekend?" He asked.
A smile crossed my face from ear to ear. "It's a surprise." I said. I'm so excited I can't hardly stand myself. Rihmeek texted me earlier this week to let me know he would be coming to California this weekend, and that he wants to meet Rich this weekend. No one knows besides me. Eric will be working this weekend so he won't know, and doesn't need to.
"What is it mommy? Gimmie a hint." He begged. I shook my head, "It would ruin the surprise." I didn't have to see him to know he rolled his eyes, something I know he takes after me. "Please, momma, please!" And his persistence, I like to say comes from his father.
"Someone is coming to see you. That's all I'm saying." I said, grinning like a child.
For the rest of the car ride he was silent while playing on my phone.
-
"I'm going to be pretty busy this weekend, and I'll probably stay at the hotel this weekend." Eric said, while undressing himself.
"Okay." I didn't really know what to say. If I act excited, he'll know somethings up. "You'll be back Monday, right?" I asked, as if I cared.
"Yes, baby. I'll be back Sunday night." He crawled onto the bed with a glint in his eye that I know all to well. "You gon miss me?"
I had to refrain from shaking my head. "Of course." I lied. He chuckled before laying his head on my stomach. I felt gentle kisses being pressed on my lower abdomen and they kept going lower and lower. "We can't, Rich is still awake." I whined. He sucked his teeth before pressing his head against my stomach. "We haven't had sex since before you left to go to Philadelphia. I miss you." I rolled my eyes before placing my hand on the back of his neck.
"Patience, baby." I said causing him to chuckle.
He grew quiet and once I heard small snores I knew he had fell asleep on top of me. As I laid here left with nothing but the silence I thought about it, and we really haven't had sex in a long time. Yet, he hadn't mentioned anything about it up until now. It doesn't really bother me, but I remember days when he couldn't go a day without it so it makes me wonder.
Soon my thoughts were interrupted when our door opened and Rich walked in. "Mommy" he said. "What baby?" He yawned while rubbing his eyes. "Someone is at the door for you."
Eric being the heavy sleeper he is, I just had to roll him onto his back. I got up and grabbed my silk gown and put it over my t-shirt that I had on. "What have we told you about opening the door? You come get mommy and we can open it together." I think he was too sleepy to care what I had to say. I just laughed, and walked him to his room and tucked him in before walking downstairs. I wrapped my arms around myself before opening the door.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, clearly shocked. He said he wouldn't be here until Saturday. I felt several emotions wash over me, many that I didn't expect. "I came early. I didn't have anything to do tonight, and I found myself re-reading our texts and I wanted to see-I was just impatient." He said causing me to blush for some reason unbeknownst me. I wanted to say I knew what he really meant but that isn't true. He could mean anything.
"Were you busy?" He asked, eyeing me up and down. I shook my head but his eyes never left my body. "Are you sure?" He asked. His jaw clenched and he frowned before looking me in the eyes. "I'm sure, Rihmeek." His face softened but I could still sense jealousy. "I didn't know who was here so I slid on my robe over my pajamas." I assured him. I don't know why but I felt like I owed him the explanation.
He nodded his head but stayed quiet.
"Well, you seen him." I said, feeling overwhelmed with this feeling that was indescribable. "I didn't know what to say to him so I asked for you." He said followed by a half laugh and half groan. That might be the sexiest sound I've ever heard.
"That's okay. You two will be crazy about each other in no time." I said matter-of-factly. He smirked, "You think so?" I nodded my head, "I know so." I leaned my head against the door frame and mocked his smirk. "And how do you know that?" I laughed at what I'd like to call him flirting, "Because he's a lot like his momma." I played along. It was true though.
His eyes grew darker but his smile never left his face. "Oh yeah?" He questioned, "In that case I might be in trouble. I never really stopped to think; you were a handful, I was a handful. He's the two of us in one little body."
I laughed at what he was saying because it was true. "He's a great kid." I said. I've never had any problem out of him. I've been very lucky.
"If he takes after me, I don't doubt it." I rolled my eyes while laughing. "Want to come in?"
I knew it was a risk but I felt rude not offering. If Eric wakes up I'll deal with him later.
"How was your flight? When did you land?" I asked while covering up with my blanket that was folded over the back of the couch.
"It was alright. We landed this morning." He said. "Why did you wait until now to come see us?" I asked. He scratched his chin, "I don't know. I mean, you didn't know I was coming so I didn't want to come at the wrong time."
I frowned for a second, he should never guess whether he can come see his son or not.
"There is never a wrong time to come see your son. You're always welcome here." I said.
"My son." He repeated with a grin from ear to ear, "This is mad weird." He said, followed by a small laugh. "How so?" I questioned.
He looked at me for a moment with an expressionless face, then shrugged his shoulders. I could tell there was a lot he wasn't saying, but him not saying anything actually said a lot. "I'm a father. I've been a father for six years." He shook his head, clearly having trouble believing it. "You don't understand how that makes me feel. Real life, I think this is the happiest I've ever been-" He stopped himself then looked at me again, "Well happiest I've been in awhile." I ducked my head and blushed. "You deserve it Rihmeek" I said, "I've always wanted you to be happy, more than anything." I want to think he believes that too.
"Yeah, well," He started, "I'm happy."
I don't know what come over me but I felt a strong urge to be closer to him, to feel him in some way. The urge was so strong I had to clench my fist to refrain from grabbing his hand. "So, let me get this right. I've not stopped thinking about it since you left...again. You got pregnant...with my son, and your parents made you move out here?" I nodded my head, "Yeah." I agreed. "What made you stay out here?" I thought about it, and I don't have a honest answer. "Nothing in Philadelphia felt like home anymore. The only thing-person, who tied me to Philly was you. With time though I had come to the realization you cut that tie so I decided to stay here." I said, starting to feel emotional. I've played out this conversation in my head a million times. I've dreamed of being able to sit down with him and talk about everything.
"I wasn't the one who cut that tie. The tie was cut when you said 'I do', don't you think?" I didn't know what to say. He was right, but I hated that so much. "Still didn't cut the tie in my book." I said, turning my head to avoid eye contact. "You can't have your cake and eat it too." He said. Being the sarcastic person I am I had plenty come backs I could have said but being the bigger person I decided to stay quiet.
"I don't regret it," I said, "having Rich. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, aside from you." I quickly added, but made sure to whisper the last part. "I never expected you to regret having him." He said. I knew that I just wanted to throw it out there.
"If I had stayed for you I wouldn't have him." I said, finally making eye contact with him again.
"It's okay, Nic." He said once he seen my eyes filling with tears. "It's not." I said truthfully.
"I never wanted any of this." I said referring to the big house, the money, Eric...I've never wanted any of it. "I did what I thought was right." I rambled on. He frowned out of sympathy and that simple gesture made me that much more emotional. He's still the selfless man I knew back then. He hasn't changed, that much. He's still Rihmeek.
"You did what was right." He said, causing me to sarcastically laugh.
"Then why did I deserve this?" Now I was referring to being unhappy, lonely, and miserable. "Why do you hate me? What changed?" His eyes widened and he chuckled.
"You think I hate you? You're throwing yourself a pitty party because you think I don't love you anymore?" I've always hated how his words could make me feel so small.
"You put our son before yourself, and you think I hate you for that?" He questioned. I shrugged my shoulders. I figured so.
"That only makes me love you more."
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
A/N
I hope y'all aren't too mad at me. I can't make any promises but I'm going to try to update more often.
What do y'all think about them?
Comment & Vote
Please excuse any errors 😘
