"Hello?" He repeated. As soon as he answered the phone my speech flew out the window along with my ability to speak. I had so many questions I wanted to ask. Maybe I was foolish for thinking I could pick up the phone and call him like we hadn't gone the last five years without speaking.
"Hi." I said, my voice trembling due to anxiety. The line went mute as I expected it would. I pulled my phone away from my ear to make sure he hadn't hung up and was surprised to see he hadn't. I could hear him breathing faintly over the phone. It surprised me that, that sense gave me comfort.
"You still there?" I asked, not sure where I gained the courage to speak. I've always had confidence and I have always been outspoken. With him though, I find myself second guessing everything I want to say and being very self conscious. He is just so smart and humble, and very self-aware. What he has I sometimes feel I lack. At time he almost intimidates me.
I heard him mummer an "mhm." At least he is speaking, somewhat. That has to mean something. I expected him to hang up within the first thirty seconds of our call.
I had so many questions I wanted to ask; how is he, what has he been up to, how is life now without me. But I quickly reminded myself that I don't deserve the answers to those questions and settled with, "We need to talk."
"Who is this?" I heard him ask. I pulled the phone away and looked at it confused and somewhat offended. I know he knows who I am. Otherwise he wouldn't have stayed quiet for so long. Right? Maybe he has forgotten me.
"It's me...Nicki." The vulnerability in my voice shocked me. I didn't want to admit how hurt I was that he might not remember my voice, so instead I just made myself believe he was being petty. "I don't know a Nicki." He said, confirming my assumptions. He's being petty.
"I didn't call to argue or anything, Meek. We need to talk. We can meet and talk, talk over the phone, or meet with Richard's attorney. Whatever you prefer, we just need to talk." I said. Happy with the authority in my voice.
When the line fell silent again I found myself overthinking what I had said. Maybe I said something wrong or I was too pushy. Truth is he really doesn't have to talk about any of this with me. I would just hope, out of respect for Richard, he would be willing to.
"How did you get my number?" He asked. I opened my mouth to tell the truth but immediately closed it when I realized how low I had to go to ask the attorney for his number, so I lied, "Richard's attorney said we should talk and come up with some agreement. You know, since the house was left to both of us." I said as I placed a hand on my hip. His chuckles rang through the phone almost like he didn't believe me. "You mean to tell me that you think I believe that? Come on, how naive do you think I am? You're saying he gave you my number so we could "come up with some agreement" when he could just schedule a meeting himself?" I soon regretted lying. It has never been one of my strong suites. My cheeks were on fire and I felt uneasy. "Regardless of how I got your number, we need to talk." I said.
Again, he stayed quite. I started to regret calling. Before I called I told myself I was doing this for Richard and Richard only. Now I wish I had just chose to go about it all by my-own-damn-self. That way definitely seems easier.
Over the years I had forgotten how stubborn this man can be, especially when he's not on good terms with someone.
"I've already talked to an attorney. I've chose to disclaim. I left it all to you." He said, "Figured you'd rather it be that way." He muttered the last part but I heard him clearly.
"Well I don't. We should at least come up with some agreement." Maybe I held my hopes to high. For all I know he might not even care about it. With time people change. "For Richard." I added, hoping he hadn't.
I wanted to say so much more. I wanted to point out how many memories that house held. How he owes this to Richard, especially after all the things he did for him. How he shouldn't be so damned stubborn and let bitterness take away from doing something he wants...or at least I hope he wants.
"How are we supposed to come to an agreement?" He asked. I smiled in satisfactory. I didn't expect it to be that easy.
"Well, I don't want everything to be handed over to me. What do you want?" I asked. Being considerate seemed like the more fitting way to go about the situation. At least this way I won't seem like the inconsiderate bitch I'm sure he takes me as. "Do you want to talk about it in person?" I asked. It seemed more appropriate.
I was going to ask if we could meet for dinner but thought that I was pushing it.
"Maybe we should just meet with his attorney. That way neither of us can take back what we say. It will be documented and everything." What he said made sense. At least this way he can't change his mind and leave everything on me in the end. So, "that will work." I said.
He was silent for awhile and I really didn't know what to say now that we had "talked."
There was so much more that I wanted to say but pertained to nothing relevant.
"How are you doing after everything?" I asked. Curiosity got to best of me. Part of me needed to know. The need to know how he is coping after Richard's death has nearly ate me alive since I got the call.
Rihmeek has never been one to deal with emotions well, let alone voice them to others. He'll bottle them up until they eat him alive.
"I'm doing aight, you?" I was surprised he bothered to ask how I'm doing.
"The shock hasn't warn off yet so I'm doing okay right now." I answered truthfully.
I was tired of the awkward pauses and listening to each other breath, so I figured it was time to end the conversation. "I'll call his attorney and see when he can get us in then I'll text you and give you the details." I said.
I ran a hand through my hair before I took a seat on my bed. "Thanks."
After I hung up the phone I stared at the wall in disbelief. I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact I've come face-to face with him and talked to him again all in one day, after all this time.
If you had told me this would happen last night I would have called you a damn fool. My mind was made up that he had left and moved on leaving me with nothing but the choice to do the same.
~
"I'll go home then!" I yelled while picking up my belongings. I felt my eyes burn as I tried my best to hold back tears.
"Stop!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I chose to be stubborn and pulled my arm back. "You want me gone? I'll grant your fucking wish." I said, my voice coated with bitterness. I mentally scolded myself as a hot tear rolled down my cheek. Wiping it with a quickness before he seen. "You're overreacting, Nic. I didn't mean what I said. It just came out wrong."
I turned to look at him which was a huge mistake. I'm sure my eyes are glossy and a stubborn tear rolled down my cheeks, and he noticed both. I watched his expression soften into almost a pout. He walked towards me causing me to back into the wall.
"C'mere" He said barely above a whisper. I shook my head causing more tears to fall. With or without my consolation he took me into his embrace causing the damn to break and the tears to fall. "I'm sorry."
I didn't have to look him in his eyes to know he was sincere. I felt it; the way he held me, his tone, and the sighs of what I assume is regret that kept escaping his lips.
"I'm you're best friend, Rihmeek. I don't know how many times I have to tell you I don't look at you as no damn charity case." I said as his words ran through my mind again causing my anger to rise. He really has some damn nerve. "I'm so tired of hearing it. I can't do it anymore. You have to trust me or we aren't going to get anywhere." I added.
I felt his chest rise and fall against me as he exhaled a deep breath. "I trust you, Nic. I was just overthinkin' shit and it got the best of me."
There's always some excuse he has for biting my head off at the most random times. His mood swings are worse than my mother's when she went through menopause.
"Well stop it, okay? I'm not ya friend cause I feel bad for your ugly ass."
His fingers found my sides and he started tickling me causing me to shriek and jerk away from him. "Stop!" I screamed.
He didn't show any signs that he would let up so I pushed him and hauled ass out of his room. Before I could make it down the hallway he snatched me up and put me over his shoulder. "Okay, Rihmeek. I'm sorry. Ya ain't ugly. I give up." I forfeited before I ended up pissing on myself. "For some reason I don't believe you." Maybe that's because I'm not.
"Let me down I'm getting lightheaded." I whined. He placed me back on the ground once we were back in his room.
"Ya really aren't ugly." I said sincerely while I ran my hand over his stubble on his jaw.
I watched his eyes fall to my lips for the second time to night. That feeling I felt earlier re-surfaced. I had butterflies but at the same time I felt secure with the feeling.
Either the butterflies in my stomach were causing hallucinations or Rihmeek really leaned down towards my face. I didn't have much time to contemplate because soon my lips were covered by his own.
My hands found the back of his neck and his found the the small of my back. When I felt him lightly bite my lip a small moan escaped my throat causing us to pull away from one another. "Nic..." I'm sure our faces mocked each other's. I was confused, happy, and I felt that feeling that made me want to reach up and kiss him again. "I'm sorry. I don't-"
I interrupted him by latching onto his lips again and this time putting all the emotions I felt into the kiss. Maybe he can make sense of them better than I can. This kiss wasn't as innocent. This time we seemed hungrier, we seemed to both be searching for something but at the same time content with what we had.
"I...love...you." I said with each breath he allowed me to take. Something told me this would change whatever this is, forever.
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A/N
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