I unlocked the front door and walked in followed by Rihmeek. I sat the keys on the table beside the door and watched him walk across the room towards the stairs. He didn't say a word to me just like he didn't say a word to me at the police station or in the car.
I shook my head, not having the energy to figure out what was wrong and fix it. What I need now is to get rest and worry about preparing myself to go through a divorce with one very bitter, enraged man.
I heard water running then walked upstairs to see Rihmeek had locked himself in the bathroom to take a shower.
I changed into one of his t-shirts and then sat down on his bed and pulled out my phone.
I texted Michelle to let her know we made it home safe. She kept Rich tonight since he fell asleep with her boys. I didn't have a problem with it because we're meeting tomorrow for lunch anyways. I asked Rihmeek what he thought about it and he didn't seem to care. Well, he stared at the road and didn't say a word. Which led me to my assumption.
She texted me back after a few minutes and said she was glad and that she would see me tomorrow. While I waited to see what mood Rihmeek would be in after his shower I flipped through the TV channels when I shockingly found Eric headlining a news station.
They're saying he was attacked, jumped, beaten to a near pulp. A bitter chuckle left my lips.
I wonder if they'd feel this sorry for him if they knew the full story. They would probably still pity him, to be honest. The media would dig until their nails are bleeding to find some sort of reason to turn the situation on me. The woman. After having enough of it I turned the TV off. He got exactly what he deserved.
Maybe I wish the circumstances were different.
That Rihmeek didn't cause this. That I did, or a stranger. Regardless, him sitting in that hospital bed doesn't make me feel the slightest bit sorry for him. Did he show remorse? Of course the hell not.
I snapped out of my thoughts when the bathroom door opened and out walked Rihmeek with nothing but a towel around his waist. Looking like Satan's sexy cousin. I bit my lip and looked down at my hands keeping in mind that he wasn't speaking to me right now. He disappeared into his closet and came out a few minutes later with sweats on.
"I'm going to sleep on the couch." He finally broke the unbearable silence but didn't bother to make eye contact. I wasn't sure what to say so I just stayed silent and watched him grab a pillow, blanket and walk towards the door.
"Rihmeek" My voice was fragile and vulnerable, a lot like my heart. He turned around but I looked down before our eyes met.
"We're okay, right?" My voice cracked as I asked him the question that would either give me my hope back or pull my last straw and tear me completely apart. I heard him sigh causing me to close my eyes and prepare myself for the answer I knew would break my heart.
When I heard the door close I opened my eyes to see the room was empty.
Maybe no answer is a good answer. He has never been one to act out of anger. Although my angel on my right shoulder was telling me this the devil on my left shoulder was saying the complete opposite. Knowing Rihmeek as well as I do he would never say nor do anything to intentionally hurt me. So, that being said, he might've not answered me to try and spare me the hurt.
I wouldn't blame him. Not even the slightest. He's fought for me so long that I don't doubt he is tired. I'm tired, and I haven't even fought.
If he gave up on me I wouldn't love him any less. I wouldn't be bitter towards him. I would still carry on loving him just like I have for as long as I can remember.
Even as I look at the situation as a pessimist, I can't help but recall him throwing up our promise more than once. If he's fought and waited this long what changed today?
If what we vowed back then still stands today, we'll get through this. I know we will.
-
I laid in his arms listening to the beat of his heart as it echoed my own. After making love for what could possibly be our last time it felt so bittersweet to be this happy.
"I love you" I said, voicing my strongest emotion for the umpteenth time. "More than you will ever know." I felt like adding.
I felt his heartbeat quicken against my body. "Love you too." He said, squeezing me closer to his body. Hearing him say that made me angry. Not at him, of course, but at the fact that that isn't enough for anyone but me.
His love isn't enough for the people at school who smile in our faces but talk behind our backs about the "rich girl" falling in love with the "boy from the hood." His love isn't enough for his friends who tell him I'm no good for him. His love isn't enough for my parents.
I'm the only one comfortable with having his love. I'm the only one it should concern. To the world though I don't have a choice.
Society decides for me. My parents decide for me. A fucking dollar sign decides for me.
That's why I am angry. A relationship can't be based off of love anymore.
"What's up?" He asked. I guess sensing something was wrong from the way my body tensed at my thoughts.
"I'm just thinking about after tonight. What will happen to us, what I'll do...without you."
It hurt to say aloud but it's the truth and I have to face it. My parents have left me no choice.
"We're gonna be aight." He sounded so sure, so convinced that this would all pass by and we'd be fine. I wish I could trade him mindsets. Maybe I wouldn't keep myself up at night wondering about all the possible what if scenarios. "What-what if we aren't though."
I heard his sigh before it even left his mouth.
He was quiet for awhile. He's always been an optimist and I wonder at times how that is even possible. Throughout all the shit he's faced he is still convinced there is a "good side" to it. There just isn't one to this. Not this time.
This is what you hear about in the movies. Not something you ever picture to happen in real life. "If we aren't then we'll still be aight."
I laughed at that being the only thing he could come up with. If we aren't alright we'll still be alright. He can speak for himself but I just do not see it happening for me.
"You love me, right?" He questioned. I knew he knew I did and that there was more to this so I answered with no hesitation, "Yes."
Again, his heart raced and I felt a fluttering in the bottom of my stomach. "That's how I know we're gon' be aight. We got each other against all the motherfuckers who are trying to tear us apart. Your a girl ain't you supposed to believe in that whole love conquers all shit?"
I laughed and felt my heart burst from happiness all at the same time. I don't know how I got this lucky but I'm so thankful.
"Promise me something," I said as I raised up to straddle him, "Promise me that no matter what happens after tonight that this," I pointed between us then placed a hand on his chest, "Is never going to end. Even if they tear us apart we'll still find our way back to each other." I felt myself getting emotional at the mere thought of living a life without him in it.
He chuckled then shook his head.
"No, Rihmeek," I said sternly, "Promise me that no matter what they do it will still be us against them. That we'll protect, love, and support each other no matter what."
He shook his head again but didn't laugh.
"Man, I feel like a priest is about to pop outta that closet." He laughed and I couldn't help but laugh myself but I was being serious.
"I'm not joking Rihmeek. Promise me, please."
He sighed before running a hand through my hair. "I promise," he said causing me to cheese like a little kid. "We'll be fine."
-
As I replayed that conversation in my head I jumped out of his bed and walked downstairs.
"Are you still awake?" I asked, not being able to see because of the dark. I heard him mumble something incoherent but took that as a yes.
"I don't know why you're upset with me or what made you start ignoring me but I just wanted to tell you something," I felt my way to the couch and then felt for his body. "You didn't answer my question earlier but that's okay. Whether you believe it now or not, we're gonna be alright." I didn't know if he would remember where those words were from but when his body tensed under mine that led me to believe he did in fact remember.
"I know I'm late but I'm not too late. It's over Rihmeek. We found our way back to each other and I'll be damned if I let you go this time."
As I spoke those very words I held on to him as tight as I did that night all those years back.
"I promise," I said kissing the side of his mouth, "We'll be fine."
I waited for him to say something, do something, anything but for the longest time he never did. As I was just about to say something he squeezed me and I felt all those weights lift off my shoulders.
"You my girl?" He whispered. "Always have been."
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Please ignore any errors 😘
