"I just wish it wasn't so difficult, you know?" I talked to myself more so than Rihmeek. "You're my best friend, nothing more, nothing less. Why can't they accept that?"
Rihmeek and I laid side by side staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. It's early in the morning, the sun is just beginning to rise.
"That's honestly all I want. For the three people whom I love most, to get along. It's so aggravating! They don't know you, but they put you down like they do. I just think-"
I stopped talking when I felt Rihmeek place his hand on my bare thigh. I got hot in the middle of the night so I took off his sweatpants leaving me in nothing but his t-shirt.
"Don't get so worked up about it, Nic. They're your parents so they only do what they think is right." He defended. I guess in a sense he's right. They do have it set in their mind that he is this awful, monster so I guess they're only trying to protect me.
"They don't give me room to make any mistakes." I said out of the blue, "I have to learn things outside of school. If someone is only educated at school, they are uneducated. That's something my mother has always said. Meanwhile, she doesn't give me the chance to make any mistakes to learn from. I'm seventeen, for Christ sake." I frustratedly ran my hands over my face. I looked over to Rihmeek to see if he was listening or if my rant had sent him back to sleep. Some what surprisingly, he was awake and seemed to be thoughtfully taking in what I was saying. "I don't mean to rant all the time. No one else understands." I said. I felt his thumb on the hand that was placed on my thigh, start to rub circles on the inside of my thigh.
I felt a feeling I've never felt before causing me to blush immensely. Just the slightest touch from him can cause an erupt of butterflies that make me light-headed. I have no earthly idea where these feelings have come from.
I've never looked at Rihmeek as more than a friend, but now, here I am yearning for him to rub me in the most intimate way.
Stop! I scolded myself. What the hell am I doing? If that ever happened it would ruin us forever. Not only would it ruin our friendship that I adore so much, it would confirm my parents assumptions.
During my thoughts I felt him squeeze my thigh causing the slightest whimper to escape my lips. I seen out of my peripheral vision, Rihmeek swing his head facing me. I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip, wishing more than anything that I would disappear.
I know now that I will never live that down. "You need me to walk out so you can handle yourself?" His words causing me to blush even harder. I covered my face with my hands, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing how bashful I am. "I'm joking, Nic. Don't cry."
I slapped his chest and screamed dramatically, "Stop, Rihmeek!" He chuckled, "Stop, Rihmeek." He mocked.
I rolled out of bed and stomped out of his room. He irks my living soul.
I soon felt arms wrap around my waist and lift me in the air. "You're so mean to me." I whined. He chuckled before sitting me down back on the hard-tiled flooring. "I have to disagree on that one."
I rolled my eyes before walking towards the kitchen. Opening the cabinet, I reached for the top shelf for a cup. I was a few inches short from reaching them and the laugh I heard from behind me, let me know he was aware.
"Here, little bit." I heard before I was handed a cup. I thanked him before walking to the refrigerator to get some water to help calm down the fluttering in my stomach.
"What do you want to do today?" He asked.
I shrugged my shoulders while sipping my water, "Just wanna lay up with you."
-
After Rihmeek and I had watched four episodes of the Law & Order marathon I started to get bored. I rolled over so we were now facing. I watched his eyes fall to my lips for a split second before looking me in the eyes. "Rihmeeeek." I whined. He playfully rolled his eyes, "What?"
I'm not sure what I found funny but I giggled before burying my face in his chest, "I'm bored." I admitted.
As my head rested against his chest I could hear his heartbeat and suddenly I wasn't so bored anymore. I still wanted to get out of the bed though, neither of us have ate all day.
"You the one who said you wanted to lay up in bed all day." He recalled.
Rihmeek and I never get the chance to do this, actually this is the first time. I've longed for days and nights I could spend with him, laid up, talking about whatever crosses our minds.
"I know and I do, but I'm hungry." I said.
He laughed before lightly slapping my ass, "Then let's go." I rolled out of the bed before he followed suit. "I don't have any clothes, Rihmeek." I announced my realization. I'm so hungry that I'm contemplating going out in public dressed in his clothes.
"Want to go by your house? You got your keys?" He asked. I laughed at the fact I forgot going to my house was an option. I'm still in shock that my parents left me home alone for the weekend that I feel like they're still here.
"We can do that." I said.
We got in his truck, that thanks to Richard, he now owns. Persuading him to accept the gracious gift was nearly as hard as persuading a nun to let you in her pants - it was difficult. It took him about a month but he finally accepted it, with the agreement he would pay Richard back.
"So where did your parents go, again?" He asked. "My cousin's wedding."
He looked over with a confused expression before looking back at the road. "You didn't go?" I shrugged my shoulders, "And miss the opportunity to spend the whole weekend with you?" I heard him chuckle before he nodded his head. "Besides, we are distant cousins. I'm sure my presence won't be missed."
We pulled into my driveway but he didn't shut the truck off. "You're not coming in?" I observed. He looked towards my house before looking at me. "Come on." I said.
He followed me up the front porch and waited for me to unlock the door. As soon as we walked inside an uneasy feeling washed over me. I tried to shake it off but for some reason I had this gut feeling Rihmeek shouldn't be here. Maybe it's the part of me that-no matter what they say or do-still wants to obey my parents.
I tried to pay the feeling little to no mind as we walked up to my bedroom. My parents are in a whole other state, they'll never know.
"This you?" He asked. I muttered a 'mhm' before opening my walk-in closet. "Shits nice."
"Thank you. My daddy works hard for it all." I said while looking around my room for what seemed like the first time. "And your mom?"
"She is his accountant." I said. He nodded his head without saying another word. I looked around my room once more before grabbing the first thing I found. That gut feeling won't leave and I just want the hell out of here.
~
My body went rigid from fear as I felt my heart drop. I silently thanked God that what I expected to happen, didn't. "Is that really you?" He asked. I placed the bat against the wall as I laughed, "In the flesh."
Omelly seemed at a loss for words. I gave him a sympathetic smile while he gave me another look of disbelief. "Holy shit...I can't believe it."
As if a light bulb went off in my head, two and two clicked and I realized that if Omelly is standing in front of me, Rihmeek can't be strayed too far. "Is he here?" I asked.
I couldn't look him in the eyes while I asked my question. Whenever he is brought up in any conversation I have this indescribable amount of guilt that washes over me, that makes me feel belittled. Almost as if I don't deserve to speak of him. Of course, he isn't aware of what happened but I'm sure he knows I hurt his best friend and that is enough to make me feel ashamed. "He's gone." I heard him but I couldn't believe what he said. My head shot up with such quick momentum I nearly caught whiplash. "He's been gone for awhile, actually. I just came to get the rest of his stuff."
I've been so sure of what he is telling me, for so long. I had this gut feeling every time I came back and he wasn't here, that he was long gone. I expected this but I can't help the deep pain I feel in my chest. Consider me foolish but deep down I thought Rihmeek and I would meet again, somewhere down the road and everything would be forgiven and we could go back to the way things were. Like I said, consider me foolish. Now that, that tiny ounce of hope has been taken away I feel lost.
"I thought you knew?" He questioned. I shook my head. I'm sure he can tell how I feel about him being gone. It's probably written all over my face. These past few years, holding onto the hope that one day I would run into Rihmeek again, has been the only thing that has kept me going. Now I've been hit with the cold truth he is gone and moved on with his life. I don't know what I expected. Him to wait around for me? That is foolish. I moved away without any regards so why should I expect any different from him? "How is he doing?" I found the courage to ask. "He is doing great."
I felt anxiety rattling my nerves and for some reason unbeknownst me, I felt like the walls were getting closer together.
"It was nice seeing you, Omelly, but I really need to get back." I sped by him before he could see a tear fall down my face. Once I made it to my mother's car I sat in silence.
Maybe this is what I get for living in this made up fantasy for all these years. Maybe this is karma-no, this is definitely karma. I can't help but wonder if this is how he felt when he found out that I was gone. I could almost feel my heart break as I thought of adding onto all the pain he has gone through throughout life.
Snapping myself out of my thoughts, I put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway before I could be caught.
I ran a hand over my face and became annoyed at the stickiness I felt due to dry tears. There's no reason for me to be crying. It has been damn near six years. He probably doesn't even think much of me these days.
The need of closure clawed at me. After seven years of friendship, or whatever the hell you would call it, we owe it to ourselves to have closure. I'm sure if I had that I wouldn't hurt like I do.
Sooner than I liked, I pulled into my parents driveway. I stepped out of the car making sure to lock it before I walked inside.
"You're back earlier than I expected." I heard but didn't bother to look up. One look and I'd be asked a million questions. My mother has always had the ability to read me like a book. "How was it?" She asked.
I slid off my shoes and walked into the kitchen, big mistake. We came face-to-face and it was like she knew everything. I didn't have to say anything, she took me into her arms with the care she would use for a newborn.
"Oh, Nika." She cooed while rubbing my back. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I clung to the cause of all my problems and allowed her to comfort me. "I am so sorry."
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A/N
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