REBEL HEART (GxG)

49

GAB

Broadway show billboards, Wax Museums, Time Square Ball, the Pedestrian Plaza and let's not forget the Naked Cowboy, which is not actually naked at all. Ahh...Time Square New York! It is one of the world's most visited tourist attraction, drawing an insanely huge number of visitors every year. Well who wouldn't want to drop by when you're in New York City, right? But then again, I guess that would be me.

11 years ago, I was 10 that time, Uncle Sully had a business trip in New York. He took me with him so that I could witness the ball drop on New Year's Eve here in Times Square. He brought Jenkins too to have someone look after me when he's out on a meeting. I vividly remembered how everyone was so excited on that day. People gathered on the streets to witness such event, making the main streets congested. Everyone were partying around like crazy, having the time of their lives, excited to welcome the coming year. Uncle Sullivan was at some restaurant having a New Year's Eve dinner meeting, yes business as usual. He's supposed to celebrate it with Jenkins and I at our hotel, which has a good vantage point from where the ball would be dropping. An hour before the anticipated ball drop, Uncle Sully called Jenkins telling him to take me to the said restaurant because he can't make it back to the hotel. Thinking about the huge pile of people loitering along the busy streets of New York, Jenkins feared that we too might not make it on time. The road going to the restaurant was closed due to the ceremony and the alternate routes were filled with people. There is no way we can be able to reach the place in time, so Jenkins decided to park the car somewhere and walk the distance to the restaurant. I was ten that time and yes I consider myself tall for my age but basically I was still a kid. Jenkins was holding my hand as we passed through the crowd, rubbing not only elbows, but bodies with strangers. He insisted to carry me but I didn't want to because I thought I was too old to be carried and I was too stubborn to listen to my poor butler. Jenkins' tight grip almost hurt my small hand but I knew he had to do it to keep hold of me. He would always look behind me, making sure that I wasn't stepped on or run by someone. And then out of nowhere, a drunkard and 3 of his friends run past us knocking Jenkins down.

I felt his hands slip away from mine and instead of going down with him, I was ushered by moving bodies forward. I couldn't see Jenkins anymore, couldn't hear his voice call for me. I started moving against the pushing force of the bodies against mine but to no avail, I was too small and powerless. I suddenly felt the fear grow inside my chest realizing that I am now lost and Jenkins might be hurt.

I started to panic, pushing bodies away from me. I felt trapped and I couldn't breathe like the air was sucked out from my lungs and I was gasping for it. I started to scream and call for Jenkins or Uncle Sullivan but no one could hear me. They were all busy cheering and drinking and some were... yeah, kissing. I felt my knees weak as I trembled on the ground. I wanted to continue screaming and call for help, but the words wouldn't come out of my mouth. Suddenly I felt hands on my shoulders, asking me if I was lost or if I was okay but my head grew heavy and I feel nauseous, then it was all black.

When I woke up, the smell and the blinding lights told me that I am in a hospital. Good to say, I spent New Year's Eve in there, not in a fancy restaurant nor in a cozy hotel, but in the four corners of my hospital room. My doctors told me that what had happen to me was an anxiety attack. I had Claustrophobia which by definition means, a fear of being enclosed in a small space or room. It could be triggered by many situations and in my case it was the inability to escape the situation where in I felt I was locked up, and with people pushing past me I grew anxious which led to a panic attack and I couldn't handle it anymore that eventually, I passed out.

"Hey"

I was pulled out from my thoughts when I felt Lexi's tight grip on my hands. It was a cold evening and I find myself walking the streets of Times Square because Lexi wanted to show me around town. As they say, you can't miss Times Square when you're in New York. So yeah, after 11 years, I am here again. I took a deep breath and fixed my stare to hers somehow wanting to find courage in Lexi's eyes. The streets were adorned by huge billboards of advertisements and I have to pay close attention just to distract myself from the rising fear.