L I F E L I N E »bryson tiller«

29: Lost For Words. (Pt. 2)

Jayde Wilson.

I froze for a moment. No , like my whole world froze. It was like hearing the words , "Jayde , You have stomach Cancer." all over again. If this is my so called "Dad" where were he all my fucking life ? Where was his ass at when me and Bryson broke up and my world felt like it was completely over , huh ? Who was there to tell me about these fuckboys , who was there to tell me to beware of these niggas because all they wanted was one thing ? Who was there when I cried for nights for him ? Growing up seeing other little girls talk about their daddy , what about mines ? Where were mines ? Where was him when I really needed him ?

I held back my tears and looked at him and my mother. "N-nah , this can't be true." I said with a chuckle.

"I-It's true." The man said.

"You not my fucking dad !" I yelled at him. The tears fell from my eyes , I couldn't control them at this point.

"Yes he is Ja–"

I shook my head and backed away from him , pressing my lips together. "This is not my dad." I struggled to get out. "W-where were you when I was laying in that hospital praying that I lived to see another day !? Where were during my first treatment nigga ?! Where were you during my first heartbreak ?!" More tears poured out my eyes. "A father—a daddy is supposed to protect his baby girl , nobody what happens in life. He's supposed to be there for his baby girl , he's supposed to t-tuck her in at night , tell her how much he loves her and how much she means to him.

A father is supposed to show love as well. Where were you when I graduated high school ? Where were you when me and my momma was struggling with money because she had to work overtime to pay for my treatments ? Where were you ? You're not my dad." I said letting all my angry feelings out on him. I wiped a few tears from my eyes and sniffed , "I don't have a dad."

"Don't say that baby girl. I-Im sorry." He said , he had hurt in his eyes just as much i did in mines.

"Why you looking hurt ?" I shook my head , "You weren't the one suffering , I was." I scoffed. "D-do you even know im dying ? I have fucking eight months to live."

"You could've had kids by some other woman , were you in their life !?" I added.

"Ja-"

"Nah momma , I want him to answer my question."

My mom just stood silent , shocked by my words. I was shocked as well too , I didn't know I had this in me. All this anger , it was out.

"Im sorry b-." He mumbled once again , looking down.

"I don't wanna hear this shit. Explain that to your other kids , you were in their fucking life. Couldn't be in mines ? The fuck did I do ?!" I chuckled , "Im out."

I needed to calm down.

•••

I've been sitting at this sitting tree for the last three hours. Crying to myself , talking to myself. Getting everything , every piece of anger out of my chest. I didn't want to be a angry person , but that nigga back at the house made me this way. He mad me angry. I have eight months to live and lately i've been hurt , crying , stressing. At first it was Bryson but now it's that nigga that claims to be my father. Now , apart me wants to run away again but I can't keep letting my emotions get the best of me. Life is a battle and i have to fight it. It hurts though , a man that was supposed to be there for me had a whole nother' family someone in this world. Bet them kids didn't have to go through what i went through. They had a father nor did they have a fucking lifeline. But me ? Jayde Love Wilson. I have to struggle. Seems like every time my happiness gets back on top , somebody has to bring me down.