Not surprised.
"Okay." I responded, dryly.
"You don't care?"
"I really don't care about what you do anymore mom." I said truthfully.
"Wow." She raised her eyebrows.
I shrugged and left out of the kitchen without another word. The mother I used to know wouldn't be selling her pussy and popping it for a quick 100. I lost that woman I knew a long time ago. Who was sweet, caring and cared about herself. Right now, she had no respect for herself. Setting a bad example for her daughter and shit.
I knocked on my sisters door and she answered peeking out at me.
"I'm heading out. Want me to bring you something back?"
"Mhm, some wendy's and Kingsley would be nice." She smiled goofily.
I chuckled and shook my head at her silly ass.
"Ard. I love you, stay up here."
"Love you too." She closed the door and I heard the music turn back up.
Walking in my room I changed out of my pajama pants and white muscle shirt, throwing on some cargo pants and a nike sweatshirt. Putting on my white huaraches I grabbed my keys and walked downstairs and out the house. Ignoring my mother's calls for me. I really didn't care for what she had to say.
Looking across the street I didn't see any cars in Kingsley driveway. It was Sunday so she was probably at church with her father. Getting in my car I started it up cutting on the heat. Reaching across to the console I grabbed the paper and white substance I had hidden under the latch.
Sitting the paper in my lap I made sure my doors we're locked. Pouring some cocaine out onto the paper I grabbed my razor blade and separated it into rows. Taking a deep breath I sniffed some coke into my system and automatically laid back on the seat. My pupils dilating.
I had to stop.
One day. Not today.
The first time I took Xanax in my mother's bathroom. I got tired of that high feeling like it wasn't enough and got addicted to cocaine. I tried letting go of it and trying weed but that just didn't sooth me and get me on the ultimate high like coke did. It's like the world didn't exist and I was on a cloud. It lasted for hours too. That's why I loved it. It took my mind off of everything around me. My mom, our circumstances, everything.
I knew I had to stop one day. I just couldn't do it now. So much was going on and to be honest I don't think I ever could stop. It was just that good. Shaking my head I sniffed one last line and threw the paper away outside on the curb. Closing the clear bag with the cocaine and putting a rubber band over it to secure. I put it into the glove department.
"You around there?" I asked Lo, when I turned the corner to his house.
"Yuh, Ethan here and Chris over here with Olivia."
Teyana there, so that must mean that my baby over there.
"Teyana and King there?"
