Captured by Love

17

Turned out di daw niya ako ikikiss nun, he was gonna knock my head some sense daw. Sussss, says my alter ego.

We finally talked. I was so glad he stayed and I am so happy I asked.

Andrei and I, stayed outside my house. Both sitting on the street curb with a little space between us. Ilang minuto din kaming nakaupo dun tapos gumagabi na.

"You have early training tomorrow, you better get going." I remind him and he huffs, that pissed me off.

"Hindi lang ikaw ang frustrated ah!" I told him almost screaming. Parang akong timebomb na sumabog.

I stood up, Andrei's looking at his shoes. "What do you think I'm feeling right now. Ha?!" I started venting out. Hininaan ko ang boses ko dahil ayaw ko marinig kami nila Mama sa loob ng bahay. Buti na lang at medyo dim dito.

"Ang sweet mo sakin. Parang tayo, pero hindi tayo eh. I don't know where to place myself in your life anymore and it's so frustrating!" my fury was slowly being eaten with my annoyance when he raised his head to look at me and he is still fucking calm. Wala naman akong karapatan magdemand sa kanya pero eto ako ngayon. Bullshit na karapatan yan! Sigaw ng utak ko.

"You confuse me, Andrei and I don't know how to handle this anymore." I said almost whispering. Pakiramdam ko nawalan ng lakas ang binti ko at matutumba ako kung hindi ko siya iuupo and so I did.

Hindi siya nagsalita, walang imik. Nakaupo akong muli sa tabi niya, this time ako naman ang yumuko trying to hold back my tears..

"Why did you let me fall if you're not willing to catch me?" naiiyak kong tanong sa kanya. I don't even recognize my voice but I need to straighten this out, Now or never, sabi nga nila.

"Says who?"

To describe my current state as shocked is an understatement when he shoved to my face that all along parang walang kwenta yung mga iniisip ko. Napatunganga ako sa sinabi niya and when he held my hand parang gusto na kumawala ng puso ko.

"You overthink too much, Ernestine. Sinunod ko ang gusto ni May na antayin ka at wag umamin sayo para daw may thrill kaso di ko na alam ang gagawin ko kung maisipan mo nanamang lumayo sakin." dalawang palad niya ang nakahawak sa isang kamay ko.

"Why do you have to be so hard headed?" natatawang reklamo niya sakin. Not waiting for an answer he continued.

"I told you, you can always ask me pero you never brought it up. Para akong picture sa VSCO mo na hindi makarating sa instagram kasi hindi bagay sa feed mo, or baka kasi hindi pa panahon para mapost. Parati akong napapaisip kung bakit?" all other emotions vanished when he started opening his heart for me. Di ko alam kung matatawa ako na ginamit niya pang-reference ang favorite apps ko, I should really commend him on that. Witty.

He intertwined our hands making it impossible for to get my hand back, as if I'll get it back.

"Rita, she's not my girlfriend. For the record." Andrei gave me a sly smile when my I turned to him surprised.

"Di ka kasi nagtatanong eh." he had to rub that in my face. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin, sending him Dont-dare-ruin-the-moment look and Andrei seemed to received it pretty well.

Tinaas niya ang kamay namin, at parehas kaming napatingin doon. "We dated." pagtutuloy niya.

Ah, eh adik pala to! Agad kong binawi ang kamay ko sa kanya pero di siya pumayag, mas humigpit ang hawak niya doon. Ngumisi nanaman siya but his pretty boy smile won't stop me.