𝙸𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 | Divergent

Chapter 1

The house was blissfully silent.

That was good, the less time Marcus spent in the house the better his mood was, and the longer I could survive. Sleepily, I took my allotted shower, cold water streamed over discoloured skin and I shivered. Since Marcus was nowhere to be found and the water had only just started to run somewhat warm, I took his shower allotment too; behind a locked door, under the harsh spray of cold water, I could take the time to sort through the tangle of feelings usually hidden away for my own sake.

Today was the day of the Aptitude test. Today was the day I truly figured out what my heart reached for.

I wondered if my brother felt like this, as tumultuous as the waves in the sea we learnt about in class or whether he could feel the warmth of peace embrace him as he stepped closer to his freedom.

Dressing quickly, I packed my thoughts down deep inside. They kept my anger company as I reminded myself to bite my tongue, I learnt soon after Tobias left that my own small flame of anger was no match for my fathers.

Abnegation ate a plain breakfast, I slathered butter on my toast and stared at the note on the wooden kitchen countertop.

I drummed my fingers beside it. I stared at my name printed in my father's handwriting. I tossed it in the bin.

Small shoals of grey clad people meandered past the window. Nothing moved fast in Abnegation, each move and gesture was designed to be passive, to be considerate. The bus would arrive soon to take us to school, it was one of the only places that all five factions coexisted, a rare splash of colour in my day. I watched more Abnegations pass, and wondered about their lives, many would have changed by this evening, many would stay the same.

Tonight is the night where children start to lie to their parents, and their parents start to lie to their neighbours and friends.

In my home we were already well versed in the art of the believable lie.

With a deep breath, I stepped out the front door and locked it behind me.

A year ago I walked this same route with my brother's willowy frame beside me, today I travelled alone, more than ever I missed his presence as I walked past the same houses and decrepit buildings with broken windows and crumbling masonry.

I wanted him to tell me that it will all be okay one last time.

"What do you think it will tell you?" I asked quietly, skipping over the cracks, to avoid the superstitious damnation they were supposed to bring.

He sighed, I had heard him moving around all last night, until my father went in and the shuffling was replaced with muffled screams.

"I don't really know, or mind, anything but Abnegation." Tobias replied, he was stoic and showed no fear or excitement at the prospect of what the Aptitude Test may say. We were taught from an early age to be emotionless, we couldn't have needs or wants, and we most certainly couldn't let people see behind the Eaton facade.

But sometimes we got so good at pretending to others, even we couldn't tell when the lie stopped and we began.

I rarely experienced Marcus's rage, Tobias always stepped in and shielded if he was there, but I had seen him limp around the kitchen and the fresh strips engraved in his back from the leather belt our father owned. I had been coached in the lie that he fell down the stairs or burnt his hand on a hot pan. Once he left me with a fractured orbital bone; I told everyone I hit myself with the cupboard door.

"You know I don't want to leave you," He said once we got to the gate, his eyes flicking over to mine, and I could see the bags which hung under his eyes like weights, they were never going to leave if he remained in Abnegation.