Lost In Stereo {Sequel To LINLYAA}

Chapter Thirteen-Heart Breaking Little Skank

It was like I had no human emotion.

Dad said I had no human emotion once... I can't remember exactly what I did, but I do remember being yelled at. A lot. I wanted to cut even more now. I was a worthless piece of shit and deserved to be hurt. I deserved scars on my wrists and nothing could stop that. I needed to cut myself but I knew it wasn't going to happen...at least not here.

I was snapped from my thoughts by soft knocking on my door and dad emerging. Ugh...

"What?" I snapped dully making him just groan in annoyance.

"Your birthday was like two weeks ago and I still haven't given you your presents. They're upstairs in the cupboard in near the play station when you want them." He said not even sounding that interested in talking to me. But why would he? He didn't want me anyway...

"So I actually get something other than a lecture and finding out you never wanted me?" I shot back. Now he looked interested.

"Tellie you don't know anything, you saw one little note your mother wrote and that's all. Don't start assuming stuff."

"Then tell me!" I shouted getting to my feet. "You never tell me anything! Can't-"

"Shut up Tellie!" He hissed. "There is no need for you to know what went on between me and your mother-"

"I already know what you did." I cut in. I could feel tears swelling in my eyes but I held them back. I can't cry in front of him. Whether he's my father or not I can't.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, I'm listening."

I nervously chewed on my lip as dad folded his arms across his chest his eyes narrowed as he waited for me to speak. I didn't think in a million years he'd turn around and say that. I thought he'd laugh at me and tell me I was thirteen I didn't know anything.

"As I thought." He said his voice now soft. "Tellie you wouldn't understand everything that happened between me and your mother. It was complicated and we were teenagers who thought we knew everything. All you need to know is I loved her. Maybe not in the way you want. But I did love her."

I took the words in as he turned to leave.

"And love," He added. "I did want you. I won't deny it I saw you for five minutes after you were born then left and never saw you again 'til you were three. But I never said I wished you'd never been born or anything like that. I wanted to see you but your mother wouldn't let me. So don't make me out to be the bad parent in this scenario."

He then left not saying any more. And as I retook my seat on my bed my mind was wondering into thoughts of what possibly went on between my parents. Maybe I had thought up something close to what actually happened, but even if I did there was never going to be anyone to confirm it.

*

I know I shouldn't have done it. Snuck out of the house to go to Zach's, only leaving a small note saying I was at a friends and would come home before six.

I'm gonna be in so much shit...

I walked up to the long driveway leading up to Zach's house, my eyes glued to the garage. The door was open I could see Zach perfectly. Guitar in his hands as he strummed continuously.

"Hey." I said as I stood at the edge of the garage. Zach looked up at me and smiled.

"Hey. The guys aren't here yet so... You know feel free to touch their instruments."

"That doesn't sound right..."

"I know-that's why I said it. But either way feel free to touch 'em. You play drums don't you?"