Ad Infinitum

Chapter 48

©mugiichan, 2016

This Time

***

I looked at my boarding pass as I seated on the lounge chairs by the airport. I caressed my little baby bump as I sighed. I'm doing this not just for my own good. I'm doing this for my baby. I'm already firm with my decision; my baby doesn't deserve any of this unjust happenings and I as a mother, I will do anything for my baby no matter what it takes.

This is it.

***

Fiona

"Ma-waw!" Angelo ran towards his grandmom the moment he saw her. He paid respect to her and sat on the lounge happily. I kissed mommy on the cheeks and say hi. Jae Hyun paid his respect towards my mom too. We talked to her study while the boys are there in the living room chatting with dad.

"How are you, my dear?" Mom cupped my cheeks like a baby before she hugged me tight. I know she was worried about me the moment she knew I had miscarriage a month ago. Those weeks are tough, I was in the state of depression. I was crying day and night the moment I knew my baby's gone. I wish I knew I was pregnant. I was so careless. I've been burried myself over work and family duties all at once. I know I was doing a great job of being a mom to Angelo and a husband to Jae Hyun but that moment the truth came, I felt so ashamed of myself. I'm a bad mom; I'm a bad wife. Until now, I still feel so sorry about my unborn child. He didn't deserve to die because of my own carelessness. "You'll be fine, my love. Look at the brighter side. You still have your energetic and adorable Angelo. He needs a mom too."

"I know, ma." I started to sob. "It's just, it's so hard to accept that my baby's gone. I was so careless."

"You said before that maybe that this isn't just the right time to have a second baby, di'ba?" She wiped my tears away. "Why are you crying for the second time? If your baby sees you crying, he will be so sad. He's happy right now wherever is he now. Angelo and your husband needs you, more than anything else so don't sulk and cry. I know it's hard to accept but this is the reality. You have to be strong for your family, okay?" I just kept myself shut, still hugging my mom.

"Mawaw!" The door busted open and I saw my son smiling so adorably to me and mommy. "Mama!"

"Come here, my little darling." I wiped my tears away and smiled as he ran towards me and carried him into my arms. "Who's my baby? Huh?" I tickled his sides and giggled loudly. His smiles are my strength. Mommy was right. I still have Angelo, and my second baby is happy wherever he is right now.

We walk together outside towards to the living area and saw kuya Thaddeus talking with the guys. "Hey, kuya. Sup?" I chuckled, acknowledging his presence. "How's love life?"

"Don't start, Fiona." He mumbled glaring at me like he's throwing deadly daggers at me. His voice felt so cold enough to shove me away from the topic.

"Okay!" I stepped back. "Nagtatanong lang ako, para naman akong kakainin nang buhay." Oh, he's back to his old chap self. I was about to join into the conversation when Ate Jesse came in, nervously.

"Sir Thaddeus, may naghahanap po sa inyo." In less than a minute, the guest came into the home.

It's Saab's lola! "H-halmeoni, what are you doing in here?" Jae Hyun paid his respect to his lola and so was I and Angelo. Mom and dad smiled at Mrs. Kim, acknowledging her presence.