How to Date an Android

How to Date an Android Chapter 16 Part A (revised!)

Author's Note; Please watch for my coming book release, the end of June 2025! Very excited for this, it will go up on Amazon. Thank you. 

How to Date an Android, Chapter 16 Part A

The armed thugs are like ten feet from me with only the door in the way.

Holy shit. Holy freaking shit. I can't believe this! This is scary.

In my mind I'm screaming at my legs to try to move but it doesn't work that way. Its agonizingly slow and difficult to move. Good thing these don't make noise. Unless I trip. I also have to be silent moving.

I can hear them trying to break open the screen door as quietly as they can. They are coming in! And only a few feet away from me.

Oh jeez... this is bad.

But they didn't know I had a private security alarm that was hooked up to the front gate, not my door. And they'd tried to get past the gate about ten minutes ago. The property yard fence gate having an alarm gives the alarm company several minutes head start before they even get to my front door.

As they approach the door the security alarm company shows up, pulling up in front of the house.

But it's laughable because the mall security guys, err I mean the security company aren't cops. They are like mall security guards only...less so. They even have 'the panza' look. It's also obvious because they are sloppy and fat. Just like the whole concept of donut cop stereotypes; it's even more amplified on them because they don't have access to real danger and that makes there less urgency to act on training.

The cops are stretching and complaining about their lousy pay and hours before they even know what hit them. They've just exited a small budget mini truck. And they aren't even paying attention. They look like they are acting like it was a pet or false alarm trigger but show up so they can keep their job. This kind of model of mini-truck they are using was popular because it could do small cargo but it was designed to be able to maneuver into tight spaces and narrow places that other cars couldn't get into.

The security guys were probably paid minimum wage and their uniforms looked like they'd been recycled a few times. Seriously? Look up guys. You are in deep shit. They are talking about the game on TV, oblivious to the fact that there's like 4 guys with guns, hoodies, and masks looking right at them, and clearly amused at their level of 'alertness'.

"You know I think I have a flashlight in this tool box? Where is it?" the one guard said as his back is turned to my house and the thugs in front of it which have ducked behind one of the front bushes. There's the sound of metal scraping as he's banging around in the tool box.

"Can you hurry up? It's probably just some stray cats. That's what usually happens. Or sometimes teenagers playing a prank," the other guy said.

"Oh here it is I found it," the first one said.

My g-d. Guys please look up. How stupid can you be.

"I dropped my flash light," one of them said looking around in the grass.

The other one sighed.

While they are moving I'm already trying to move to the back of the house to sneak out the back.

A few more seconds passed.

...

That's when I heard the gun shots. I didn't have a chance to look it up. Nor do I want to go take a look. It's ironic but the safest place isn't my house, but actually the backyard instead since these thugs seem to be killing stuff based on where loot is and how to acquire more stuff. There's nothing valuable in my backyard as long as I stay behind the woodpile that's at the back of the shop area and avoid the shop itself. I can hide back there and not be seen from the house or the side of the house even.