USUK: Loving You From Afar

Chapter 15 | Alfred's P.O.V | Whoops

     So! Last night I was in a call with Arthur and I realized that him and I had never actually video called, right? So I asked him to video call and I totally was prepared for him to say no because he's told me before about little self confidence and stuff, but he said yeah! Straight away! Maybe he doesn't feel insecure around me? I can't see how I'm anything special so that's probably not it, but how awesome would that be? I'd be unstoppable like a real hero!
     The video call was totally awesome too because I got to see it all! Everything that you get to see with a friend you know in person. Okay, he had a bit of a bed head but that just made us more comfortable I think! I thought it looked kinda cute but I didn't tell him that because I know him and that would've probably made him uncomfortable and that wouldn't have been fair.
     That's actually confused the heck outta me lately! Why do I find everything he does cute? Like, he's a 16 year old dude, he should not be cute tome! I don't find anyone else my age cute so what the heck? I'd kinda like that to be explained.

     ...That then proceeded to fuck me up. During the call, he laughed at something I did (I called Hero fat and poked him in the tummy) and then yawned like during it and I dunno if it's something to do with how he was raised but he always covers his mouth when he yawns. But yeah. He yawned while smiling and covering his mouth and it just. I don't even know how to describe it. It was hella cute.
     That was all fine, but... I told him. I said "aw, cutie" and I literally have no idea why. It just came out as if it was instinct.Obviously he freaked out, he probably thinks I'm gay and want him or something now. He then went on to make an excuse to go and end the call. I wouldn't be shocked if he doesn't talk to me again--what an awkward way to end the call. Damn. I'm so mad at myself.

     After freaking the heck out and beating myself up about it, I realized. What the heck am I doing? Maybe he wasn't uncomfortable but he just wasn't used to compliments? Maybe he didn't think I was creepy and he just didn't know how to react? From what I've heard and from what happened recently, it doesn't sound like he exactly has it easy in his life... I've no idea how to go about this anymore. Do I message him? Do I leave him to message me? I mean, if he's freaked out by me then bombarding him with messages is probably not a very good idea.Smart Alfred!
     Although,much to my surprise, he did talk to me again. I suppose my second idea was right because that's pretty much exactly what he said. Minus the having it hard bit.

     "Hi,sorry about having to leave earlier. I'm sure you caught on that it was because of your comment, or compliment, rather, but I'm not used to being called cute and I had no idea how to respond to it or handle it. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable but I was worried that I messed up by not responding, so I made an excuse to leave so you wouldn't stay mad at me. If you weren't mad at me then this is embarrassing,but, at least you know why I went now."
     I've never seen him send such a big message but at least it put my mind at ease a bit! I didn't creep him out, thank God! I said sorry and explained that I thought I freaked him the heck out, then we went onto talk about Hero.

     Arthur said that he's always wanted a cat but he's not allowed one because his mom doesn't like them. I wish I could get him a cat! I wonder if British cats meow in accents. That'd be awesome. Does Hero have an American meow? Like, do Italian cats meow about pasta? That'd be so cool holy hell!

     With my mind at ease, I was able to go about the rest of the day without any hesitation. I ate dinner that mom made me, then spent the evening with Matt, my brother, whilst messaging Artie on my phone. Awesome night! Matt and I played video games until like midnight. God, I love Fridays!