THE YOUNG MILLIONAIRE IS MY HUSBAND

WHAT MATTERS MOST

I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. He looked like his Dad. We're back home. Jino who saw the boys was asking a lot of questions, who is he, why is the baby sleeping in the room of Mom and Dad. Jota explained everything to him. He now sleeps beside his Dad who is also snoozing now. I look at them, the new baby in his crib, Jino in his Dad's arms and Jota who have not slept since last night when they rushed me to the hospital.

I stood up and went to the other room, our extended closet. I went in to check on my documents. I needed to check on the contracts that I have drawn and have signed if I still have obligations to do. As I pulled out my portfolio that was stacked under the papers and documents of Jota, a journal fell on my feet. It's Jota's journal last year. I flipped the pages and I realized he did record his daily activities after coming out from coma. There were more stacks of journals.Some that he has already wrote on and some still has blank pages. I was about to put down the journal I was holding when I saw a brown leather journal that has my name written on the cover. I was curious so I took it. I sat on the settee near the lamp and opened it.

My hands were shaking and my heart was beating fast.

His first entry was:

September 28

I came home today with you. I don't really know who you are. They tell me that you are my wife that we got married in Nevada. I do not remember  getting married to you nor do I remember falling in love with you. You are beautiful, you're tall. God you are so tall. You are sexy, every guy would love to be your husband, but why don't I remember you?

I turned the pages again, everything were sketches of me. Sketches of me walking, sleeping and even cooking with my exaggeratedly big baby bump. I was about to give up reading it when I came upon a page that he wrote.

Jinkyung,

I am sorry that I do not remember you. I am sorry that I am having a hard time remembering. I ask myself why I could not remember this beautiful woman who sleeps in my bed and who my son calls "Mommy"?

I may not be able to hug you the same way I used to hug you. I may not be able to kiss you the familiar way, but I know despite my very unfamiliar ways, I love you the same way the old me did.

I'm sorry if I could not bring home the old Jota. I'm sorry if all you see is this stranger in your husband's body but believe me, I would if I could.

They say I have laughter in my eyes, do you see it? They say there'sa walts in my walk, have you noticed it? And I guess it's been such a long time that there's hope in my talk. And if you never knew what it is that's new....it's all because of you.

Maybe my world is a different place now, everything seemed so unfamiliar but if there are things that I like to stay, it's you Jinkyung. You and Jino. I want you in my new world, in my new life. So when I grow old, if I get to grow old, I only need you both beside me, and yes eerything will be okay.

Thank you for all that you are, for everything that you do, for all that you've done and by showing me the truth.

I love you so much Jinkyung, it is what matters to me most now. Please don't give up on me for I am still learning new things again. Please don't get tired of me. Please be patient with me. Just give me another chance. I'll make good this time.

I love you.

Oh God, how could I be so selfish?

"Jinkyung?"

"Jota?"

Published originally: AUGUST 17, 2016