Before The Insanity Struck - Jeff the Killer X Ben Drowned - Book 1

The Next Day

Ben's POV:

TIME SKIP TO THE NEXT DAY AT LUNCH .... ALSO TRIGGER WARNING

What was Jeff writing last night? It has been playing on my mind ever since I saw him do it. I know it is wrong but I must find out what if it is about me. I need to know. He said it was a diary and that it was personal, but that is just crying out to me to be read. What could he be writing about. Probably how he has to share a room with me.

My mood lowered. Jeff probably thinks i'm weird and hates me. I felt a tear forming in my eye. I blinked fast a couple of times to remove it. He hates me I know he does. I saw how he looked at me when he was told we have to share a room. Jeff only wants me dead. He will never like me let alone want to be my friend.

I left the canteen and went to my bedroom and sat on my bed. Why would Jeff ever like me. Why would he ever want to be around me. I violently pulled of my beenie and looked in the mirror. I looked at my reflection and tears filled my eyes. He hates you Ben. How could he like someone like you. He hates how you dress and how you act, he hates your ears and you height. Your just a pathetic elf boy. Who could ever like someone like you Ben.

I picked up the mirror and turned it around so I couldn't see my hideous face. Tears fell to the floor. I rapidly wiped them away and placed my beenie back on my head. At least I can hide beneath the hat. No one knows what goes through my head or what I do when no one is about. They would not understand. No one ever does.

Jeff walked in the room. He can't know about this. I glare at him and leave the room. I walk through the corridors and out to the garden. There is a abandoned hut at the bottom it used to be a painting studio. No one goes in to the hut as someone died in there a while back. In this hut I feel safe, relaxed and alone. I could sit for hours just thinking about anything and everything.

When the child died in the hut Ross brought out strict new rules, tougher rules like no sharp objects aloud in dormitories. I have a bad habit, when I get depressing thoughts I tend to cut my skin open using a razor blade, not a soul knows about this, I always wear long sleeves. Even if they did know about this, they would not care.

Why will Jeff not leave my head. All I can think is how Jeff will never be my friend or how he hates me for how I look. These thoughts will not leave its like they have been drilled in there and can never leave. I rolled up my sleeve and looked at my history. I shook my head and pulled out my razor. A couple wont hurt. I cut my arms till I saw the blood trickle down my arm. I couldn't help it the more I saw blood the more I felt alive. I cut and cut until my arm was completely red. A few tears left my eyes, I was done.

Now for the bit I hated. I have to clean this up and bandage it up. I walked over to the sink and turned on the cold water. This bit always stung so badly. I placed my arm under the water and winced in pain. After 10 minuets the blood had stoped flowing I placed a bandage around the cuts and pulled my sleeve down.

I kinda don't want to be around Jeff right now. It will set my thoughts of again I will just go to the library and read for a bit. He seems like the sort of guy who does not read much. I walked to the library and sat in the corner. This was my normal spot to sit and read in. A hour later Jeff walked in. I looked at him and left the room. I dont want to be near him. He hates me. I walked to my room and lied down facing the wall so if Jeff walked in he would think i'm asleep. I will just wait a while before I speek to Jeff again.