A Ticket Out of Life

Chapter Eighteen

I stood on the front porch looking uneasily at the limo my dad was standing by. I saw him tapping his foot impatiently, but for once I didn't care. He was taking me away from my home. I looked back over and saw Lance glaring down at the ground and Carrie had tears in her eyes. I smiled sadly at her and she sniffled before allowing her tears to fall. She ran over and hugged me. I slowly wrapped my arms around her as I tried to hold back my tears. Tears, however, came to my eyes as I tightened my grip, not wanting to be taken away.

"It's not fair," Carrie sobbed quietly in my ear and it took every ounce of willpower not to cry with her. I pushed myself away and looked at her, smiling reassuringly.

"No one said life was fair," I said sadly. "We shouldn't be apart for too long." Carrie looked at me as the tears still rained down her face and I knew I was trying to convince myself as well. Lance walked over and I ran into him, wrapping my arms around his waist as my head rested on his chest. He rested his head on the top of mine and his arms tightened around me.

"I swear I'll fix this Ash. I won't let them keep you." I wanted to agree with him, but the doubts echoing in my head prevented me. As much as I want to believe you, I know you can't do anything, I thought as I buried my head in his chest. I forced myself to let go of him but Lance didn't seem to want to let me go. He stood there for a couple more seconds before releasing me. Looking sadly at Aunt Maggie and Jack, I walked down the steps and over to the limo. As I walked away I heard Jack mutter under his breath. I opened the door and looked over my shoulder and smiled brightly at Lance and Carrie. They smiled back and waved at me. I waved back, but was cut short when my dad forced me into the limo. I scooted to the far end of the limo as he got in. He instructed the driver to go and we took off, leaving Lance and Carrie, along with Aunt Maggie and Jack behind. Sadness swallowed me to where it was getting hard to breath. As much as I wanted to break down and let all my sorrow out, crying was illegal in front of my parents. I looked over at my dad and saw he was reading a newspaper. I shuffled my feet a bit and twirled my thumbs.

"Umm..." I started to say but I immediately shut my mouth when I received a glare from him. So it's going to be an awkward silence car ride. Awesome. I looked around the limo and realized it was my first time to ride in this one because I was never allowed inside of it before. This one is actually pretty nice, but I still prefer Aunt Maggie's, I thought as I rested my head on my hand. I looked back over at my dad and looked away. I'm bored, I thought as I leaned my head back on the seat. I stared up at the ceiling, scared to close my eyes in case he thought I was sleeping. I thought about what was going to happen when I finally got back. I was scared of what might take place and I didn't want to be a part of it. All of my old habits I tucked away would have to be put to use again. I realized I wouldn't be getting full course meals anymore or any of the freedom I used to have. I huffed loudly and glared at the ceiling, as if I was blaming it. I really do hate life. We finally pulled up to the mansion and I got out of the limo with my one duffel bag. I walked quietly behind my dad as we entered the house. He suddenly stopped and I had to fall backwards to avoid running into him.

"Go up to your room and do not come down until you are summoned," he said angrily. Muttering quietly under my breath, I walk up the stairs and entered my little bedroom. I threw the bag on the bed and unzipped it, curious to see what my dad had packed. I pulled out the large beige and black baggy pants that used to be Eric's, the two t-shirts that used to be Erin's and the large shoes that were Eric's. I stared down sadly at the clothes, knowing none of my new stuff made it. My eyes widened as I realized I didn't see my medicine in the bag. I turned the bag upside down and shook it, hoping to see something fall from it. A dead cricket fell from it, causing me to shriek and jump backwards. Growling as I threw the cricket way, I checked the bag again. He didn't pack them, I thought falling to my knees. He didn't pack my medicine. I was angry with him for it, because now I had to endure this pain without the help of any type of medicine. I walked over and opened up a drawer in my old creaky dresser and found the bottle of old Tylenol.

"Guess it's back to using this stuff," I whispered to myself. I went and laid on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Just when I was starting to enjoy the things life gave me, I thought as I turned over and closed my eyes. I woke up to a tapping noise on my door and turned to see a maid had entered.

"My Lady would like to speak with you," she said calmly. Sighing heavily, I got up and was led to my mom's study room. The maid opened the doors and stepped to the side to allow me to go in. She closed the doors behind me and I stood staring with a blank expression at my mom who was writing something down. She looked up at me and put her pen down.

"It's been awhile," she said as she adjusted her gray work jacket. I rolled my eyes in response. She raised an eyebrow and a cruel smirk touched her lips. "So Erin was right; you have gotten a bit bolder." She stood up and walked over to me. I didn't waver from her gaze and I held my ground. "You will start back at Bards this Monday. Of course, you will be in your own separate classroom, away from the other students."

"You're isolating me?" I asked bewildered and she just smiled at me.

"We told the judge you do not get along well with others and things might end violently, so we are allowed to do this by law."

"But that's not—"

"Do you think I care what is fair to you?" she snapped at me, cutting me off. "This way we can better watch those horrible manners you have picked up from staying with that woman."

"Aunt Maggie," I corrected her and she slapped me across the face. I felt the sting, but I didn't flinch or yell. I looked at her from the corner of my eyes.

"That woman is no longer a concern of yours," she said angrily. She walked back over to her desk, folding her hands behind her back and remained facing away from me, staring out of her study window. "You will be confined to your room for the remainder of the weekend. I do not want to see you out of your room at any given time. A maid will provide you escort to the bathroom and will bring you whatever food I decide you can have. Is that understood?"

I swallowed nervously. "I don't see the need to isolate me," I said, trying to sound polite. "I didn't talk to anyone last year."

Without turning around I could picture the scowl on my mom's face. "That's because Erin was there. There is no one there to keep you in line at Bards, so we decided on this."

"Then why can't you send me back to Saint Albert's? I was doing just fine—" The slap echoed across the room and I fell into the wall. I didn't even see my mom cross the room. My mom had swung so hard it had sent me flying. With both cheeks turning bright red and handprints forming on them, I glared up at her. "Yes ma'am," I mumbled.

"Looks like you have a lot to relearn," she growled as she walked back over to her desk. "Get out of my sight." The maid opened the door and I walked out. The maid escorted me back up to my room and shut the door behind me. I heard her lock it from the outside and I sunk to my knees. Tears poured from my eyes and I sobbed. I was careful not to cry too loudly, but today I couldn't help it. My stomach tensed up and I started coughing violently. My body went completely numb and I laid on the floor coughing harshly and loudly. When I could finally feel my arms, I rolled onto my stomach and blood poured from my mouth as I coughed again. I laid there, shaking violently as the attack passed. I wiped the blood from my lips as I sat up and the tears ran down my face again, but I didn't let a single sob out.

The weekend couldn't have passed more slowly. The most I had to eat was a sandwich; the rest were either crackers or chips with a bottle of water. It was Sunday night and I stood looking out my window looking as the last bit of the sun was hidden from view. I looked down from my window and saw how far up I actually was. If I fall on my head, I bet I would die from this height, I thought. I shook my head violently. Why was I thinking about suicide? Even though it would be better than this, it really wouldn't solve anything. Images of Carrie, Lance, Jack, Aunt Maggie, Dr. Bryn and Mr. Stevens roamed through my mind and I smiled at the memories. The image of Lance lingered in my head and I couldn't help but smile even more. Yeah, you promised to fix this, didn't you? In that case, I'll leave it to you. I walked over to my bed and collapsed on it. I smiled to myself, knowing there was always something to look forward too. I stared at the ceiling, wondering what everyone else was doing. I'll keep smiling, no matter what. Preparing myself mentally for tomorrow, I rolled over and closed my eyes and fell asleep with a smile and a tear running down my cheek.