How to Date an Android

Chapter 8, revised and improved

It's hell to not know if I'll have a future. That makes you think really hard. I'd always grown up under the idea that I had a future. But now not knowing that and having such huge uncertainty is scary. What do I have to look forward to next year or five years from now?

I hope I'll be able to walk like normal then.

I have to rest, but I also have a very short list of exercises I can do. I try to work really hard and push myself with the exercises on the first day.

I've got the shop closed but now I can't even get to the second floor and nor should I try to, since the more I do something stupid before I'm ready the easier I can have an injury.

Wow.

I've gotten full motor control back in my arms, but the muscles are all weakened still. I feel the movement but my arms are heavy and it feels like I'm lifting fifty pounds when I try to lift up a six pack of sodas. My back is still broke, and it's taking time to get my legs back. I feel like there's vague feeling there and I can sometimes move my toes but its hella' hard to get any feeling back.

Oh there it is again. Yeah, definitely some feeling coming back, of which I'm hoping it will continue to grow wards my full foot and then I can worry about the rest.

They say that's a good sign. They told me I'd walk again before I left the hospital but who knows if they are just blowing smoke up my...

Not to mention the therapy... It hurts like a bitch to get in the wheel chair. I had no idea it would be this painful. It was that painful at the hospital but it's like I thought it would go away. It hasn't yet. How do I get through this?

There's supposed to be someone that comes to my house for physical therapy treatments. But being a government worker they are salary and they've cancelled for two out of the tree visits. What is it with these people?

Too much economic security is too good for some people's work habits I guess. That person is undependable but when I call the hospital about trying to schedule someone else I'm only getting someone named Sarah's datapad recording to leave a message.

This is complicated.

My mind is racing and I'm not good at standing still this much.

If I live off the government they may have rules about me being able to stay in my own house. They won't have an obligation for my mortgage either, even though it's pretty small compared to a renters. And I don't have anyone trustworthy I can rent it too. I swear I could feel the stress coming out of me like sweat.

I also am having terrible nightmares. When they started to treat me for paralysis I'd been so tight and disciplined that I hadn't thought about listing nightmares as part of my symptoms. I had a lot of fear of the dark now.

I'm not reliving the accident or anything, but it's like I keep getting worried something is sneaking up on me. It's hard to turn the lights off in the house because every time I do, I keep wondering if something will pop out of one of the dark corners of the yard or come into the house. Or Matt, come back to haunt me.

I don't know why but I just feel,... something is wrong. I feel like there's something out to get me some of the time. Or get anyone really. Its almost like you can feel that anything could happen now.

A hidden danger.

Then one night I received a video feed call.

"Hello?" I answered it. It was probably a client. But I was wrong.

"Hello, Jack is that you?" It's a sweet feminine voice that sounded very young like maybe early twenties, and soothing. Normally I could see the visual image of the person's face with it, but in this case it's a cultural protocol that a lot of people switch the video feed to audio only after 8 PM, because people don't always look their best then or may be getting ready for bed.