Falling Tears

Chapter 8

I hated it. I hated the world. I hated how I was so hurt all the time and that I had to hold it inside me, because otherwise I would stand out and people would think I was even weirder than what they thought now.

A knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts. I raised my head enough to see Jungkook's head peaking. "Can I come in?" he asked, sounding hesitant.

"It's your room, too", I said and laid back.

I heard footsteps and then saw Jungkook leaning over me. He tilted his head when he looked at me. "Are you okay?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Yes."

"You don't seem like it."

"To you I don't seem like that most of the time."

"That's what scares me." His worried face made me sit up and he sat next to me.

"I'm okay", I assumed even though I wasn't. My mother had yet again come and left before I could see her, only to leave a crappy note and money behind.

"You don't look like you're fine." He rubbed his next while trying to figure me out.

I almost gave him an eye-roll. "Maybe it's just my face."

"It's not." He smiled and I felt easier for a moment. "You're sad."

I shook my head. "I think it's just my face."

Jungkook looked at his hands on his lap. "I know it's not that."

"Jungkook." He lifted his gaze to me and I curved my mouth into a smile just for him. "Go shopping with Sumin."

He stared at me for a moment before getting up and leaving the room.

The evening went quickly after that. I did my math homework while Jungkook and Sumin were buying food. I had a lot to do since it had taken me two eternities to get the point of the exercises. I knew at least Jungkook didn't have much homework but I still felt bad for not going to the store with them. Though, I didn't know what they liked so maybe it was better this way. I ate basically everything because for years I had eaten what I had found from the cabinets. No chance to be picky.

When Jungkook and Sumin came back, they started making food. Well, Sumin made food and yelled at Jungkook when he did everything wrong. I found it very amusing and watched them laughing and shouting at each other. Sumin caught me staring at them from the top of the stairs and waved me to join them. I didn't know how to cook much so Sumin tried to teach me but I was just as hopeless as Jungkook. Sumin's disappointed look hurt me for a second but then Jungkook started laughing about how bad we both were and I smiled. Jungkook stopped for a moment just to look at me and then smiled widely.

We had a great meal, despite the fact that Jungkook and I had almost ruined it a couple of times. Sumin was a great cook and it had been a long time since I had eaten food made for me. After dinner we parted to our rooms and did our own things. I played with my phone and listened music, staring at the stupid ceiling again. Jungkook was reading or something by his bed. That's why I almost had a heart attack when he jumped onto my bed.

I pulled the earphones out of my ears and turned to look at him. He was staring at me. I stared back, my expression blank. "What are you doing?"

He looked away. "Nothing. It's late, we should go to sleep."

He looked very tired, but it wasn't that late. Now that he was so close, I could see the dark circles under his eyes. He was probably just exhausted for his first day in a new school. "You can go to sleep if you want."

He shook his head. "I don't want to sleep."

I wanted to ask why but I would've not felt right doing so. I never answered to his whys. "Okay..." Maybe he didn't feel comfortable sleeping in a new place. That I could understand.