How to Date an Android

Chapter 6, revised and improved

"I'd really appreciate that," I responded.

"Just so you know, I have boundaries with patients that are strict. No touching my...posterior circuitry. It may trigger a self defense reaction," she said.

"What?"

"We may proceed," she said ignoring my last surprised look.

"I wasn't going to do anything wrong!" I defended.

"Sure..."

We went through the questions and were almost done with the net link form. It was fairly quick, because she can enter in the data very quickly and precisely. She only had to check the spelling of my last name, and of the street address.

"So I see on the form and in your patient records that you are a mag auto mechanic? You also have no wife, girlfriend, or android unit at home?" she asked.

"Eh? It asks if I have a girlfriend or android? I thought it only asked marital status?" I said, being confused.

"We have to maintain accuracy in these things Jack," she said finally. She had been slow to answer. It didn't make sense to me still.

"Yeah, but how am I supposed to do my job when I can't even feed myself? I can't bring in someone expensive to pay to the shop right now either," I think I was really scared.

"Sorry Jack. But it will get better," she assured me.

"Are you just saying that?" I shot back.

She avoided the question. "I'm sorry you are having trouble Jack. Hang in there."

My family wouldn't be much help either.

Years ago my family had split up and gone different ways. Mom had died, and so had dad. The other kids were raised with trying to push each other around. I couldn't even guess the last time I'd heard from my siblings. I think I received a donation request for my brother's kid's baby shower three years ago and nothing for the four years before that. They only showed up or sent something when they wanted to demand something.

I used to send them Christmas cards years ago, sometimes with a small tip in them. But it was a waste of time because they never reciprocated. Never said things. Never anything positive.

My sisters hadn't talked to me in even longer, despite numerous attempts on all of them at leaving messages on their datapad phone mail systems. I ended up giving up after the first few dozen times getting no response.

I guess not even a near death hospital visit could shake them.

"It will take some time for them to process this online form. Also its good that you applied earlier on your own before the hospital billing had the chance to do it for you, teehee," she sounded sort of evil in a way. Sometimes if I joke about hospital billing I can make the patients need more bladder maintenance from fear. Even today people remembered the nightmares of like over fifty years ago when medical billing almost brought the country to its knees. Things were better since then, but it was still taking some time to get back to helping people accept that hospitals weren't supposed to be a get rich quick scheme.

"Your programmer must have had a very colorful personality," I noted.

"Oh you really think so? I don't get comments like that often. I'll pretend it's a compliment instead of ...not one," she said with another slight nod.

"Are all androids good looking like you?" I wondered. She had nice curves and didn't look over twenty. She was really, really good looking. The others were too. I wonder how that worked.

"Well perhaps if you buy one you will find out for yourself," she said and left the room. She sort of winked at me when leaving but it was subtle but sadistic mockery, and prankster written all over, and therefore not to be trusted. She was clearly messing with me.