29. comprehending & coping.

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people come and go all the time during a lifetime. some more important than others, some more memorable. some may even have carved such a deep affection within you that it makes it so much harder to say goodbye. it was a beautiful yet dreadful process — relationships throughout one's life. you meet new people all the time, you make new friends, but some people just leave. however, those will always be a part of you, regardless of the sort of relationship you had.

cassie couldn't paint. she was too mentally occupied to do that, and her hand shaking wasn't helping either. without drawing, she had no idea how to deal with everything, since a pencil and paper had always been a comforting way to handle things.

the more time she spent with alex, the more she realized that the blue eyed girl was leaving, which made her remember that matt was as well. the thought always made her want to hide under her blankets and never come out.

matt didn't know what to do either. he was aware that he should've told her earlier, but it didn't matter. he still had to leave, and seeing her so shocked and down created knots in his stomach. he knew she was in the art room, so he took out his feelings on the empty field. chris had offered to be supportive, but matt declined. he just wanted to be alone.

groaning, cassie tossed the pencil on her stupid artwork and took a step back with her fist against her mouth. as vanessa passed the room, she sighed and contemplated on making an attempt to comfort her friend.

"what did that poor painting ever do to you?" vanessa smiled weakly, placing herself beside her. "how are you feeling?"

"like absolute shit." cassie answered, shaking her head a bit. "i just... don't know how to handle this. how can you be so calm?"

"it sucks that alex is leaving, i know. i'm pretty insensitive, but i also know you need a friend right now, which is why i'm so calm. and alex is a constant reminder that they're both... leaving soon." vanessa explained, folding her arms together with a concerned look on her face.

"i want to spend time with my roommate, but i just can't." cassie said in frustration, pacing around on her spot. "london is hours away from here, and i get that it's their home, but–"

"you don't have to explain to me, cassie. i feel the same way. you just have to see past that. i mean, you haven't spoken to matt in days. is that really how you want it to be like before he leaves?" vanessa questioned, putting a hand on her shoulder to make her stop pacing.

cassie peered up at her and swallowed a lump in her throat. with a simple head shake, she denied that she wanted it to be like this. she silently told her friend that she'd change her attitude and handle this better. the blonde one cracked a crooked smile and nodded to the window, making cassie slowly walk towards it.

"i'm really gonna' miss him." she whispered as she gazed at matt on the field, taking it out on the practice dolls.

"you should be telling someone else that." vanessa retorted softly, raising her eyebrows slightly. "i have an idea we can do later, but right now, you should go down and talk to him."

cassie embraced vanessa in a short but meaningful hug before she started to move through the building and out to the field. matt didn't notice her at first, not until he glimpsed her sitting on the stands.

"if you'd tackled the other team like that, they might've been the one's ending up in the hospital." she commented, nodding upwards.

"don't remind me." matt chuckled as he took a hesitant step towards her. "are you okay?"

"not really." she answered truthfully, jumping up from the stands to be closer to him. "but i'll live. you?"

"basically the same here." he shrugged, squinting a little with his eyes due to the sun. "i feel awful, cass."

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