[Kuroko No Basket x Reader]

From Afar - Murasakibara Atsushi x Reader

[A/N: Warning: Angst Imagine! Contains scenarios of Self Harm. Read at ur own risk and pls do not cut whatever u do. U r beautiful. All of u. So plez. Don't make me cri.

In this imagine, Sushi-kun might seem a little OOC since I find it hard to write angst for my baby titan. I'll try my best though, and I hope you like it!]

f.t. Himuro Tatsuya

Life is filled with ups and downs, but in Murasakibara's case, there were always downs. He loved 3 things and 3 things only. They consisted of food, basketball (since he entered the zone), and lastly, you. From the day he entered Yosen he couldn't take his eyes off you. Murasakibara had never expected him to fall head over heels for someone. It's just that your looks were so captivating, your personality was charming, and you were overall pure perfection in his eyes. There was never a point of time when you wouldn't consume his thoughts, he always found himself thinking about you. In class, during practice, basketball matches, at lunch, at home, and even in the toilet for kami's sake. There would never be a guy who would give his all for you like how Murasakibara would. He hated it, really. He hated how you were his weak spot, making him look vulnerable like a lost puppy, and that made him look more cowardly than what other people saw in him, since he was really tall and intimidating at times.

He took a long time to fall in love with basketball, a short time to fall in love with food, but only a split second did he find himself at your feet. Your cheery smile, your cute laugh, your amazing figure, your outstanding intelligence, your strong boldness, your advanced maturity, just you. Murasakibara couldn't get enough of you. He would buy you snacks everyday, just so that he could be the cause of that breathtaking smile you would flash him. He was indeed very protective of you. Loads of guys tried to hit on you, Murasakibara hated it to the bone. He would always stand next to you with a dark aura around him, sending the guy scrambling on his own two feet to god knows where. You would always thank him with a hug, a nice, warm hug that Murasakibara craved for. Your touch was all that he needed. If he had to do this to get a hug everyday, he sure as hell would. But there was one guy that Murasakibara couldn't protect you from. That one guy, that Murasakibara believed, made you happy. That one guy, that even Murasakibara was close to.

Himuro Tatsuya. You and Himuro have been going out for the past year, and all Murasakibara could do was watch the two of you, with his heart clenching at the sight of Himuro making you smile, touching you, kissing you, it was all too much for him. Murasakibara actually went to the extent of crying. He couldn't lose you, not to Himuro, not to anyone. He would always grit his teeth, clench his jaw, and glare at Himuro whenever he saw you with him. He wanted to tell Himuro off but, he realized that Himuro made you happy, and the last thing he wanted was to destroy your happiness. And so he watched, he watched from afar, every single day, hoping that for one second in your life, you would notice him, you would notice him hurting, you would notice him sobbing uncontrollably in the spare classroom everyday, you would notice him trying to harm himself thinking that he will never be the one for you, but you didn't. You never did. 

Murasakibara would go on a rampage in the locker room, beating everything in sight, bawling his eyes out as to why Himuro had got you, but not him. If anything, he loved you more than Himuro did. He loved you more than anyone did, but you didn't know. That was the most hurtful part, you.didn't.know. You had no clue. You couldn't even go up to Murasakibara and apologise to him because you had no fucking idea that this teenage boy was going through days filled with infinite depression all because he could never stand a chance to be with you. He wouldn't be able to hold your hand, he wouldn't be able to shower you with all that love in his heart because there was already someone else doing it and there was a limit to how much love a person could take. He prayed every night before he went to sleep, to at least give him a chance, one small shot at getting to you. But he stopped hoping. He stopped hoping, but he never stopped hurting.