Falling Backwards (Sequel to Moments)

Chapter 27: Stay

CHAPTER 27

I walk through the front door and immediately I feel the tension that's been filling up this house for the last few days.

"Hey Janelle." I look up from the ground and see Perrie coming out of the living room.

"Hey Perrie," I say giving her a small smile. "Where is everybody?"

"Well Taylor and Harry went out for their date about 15 minutes ago, Liam, Zayn, Ash and Niall went out to do some errands, and the girls and I are going to grab some dinner together. Louis is gonna stay home. Do you want to join us for dinner?" I hear some shuffling coming from the top of stairs; Eleanor, Danielle, and Lisa come behind her.

"No, it's ok," I say trying my best to keep my smile on. "You guys go have fun." Perrie gives me a short nod as the rest of the girls make their way down the stairs. I step out of their way, but Lisa stops to talk to me.

"The girls told me about what happened; I hope you don't mind," she says as she looks at me with pity and nervousness. "I know that you and Niall are not in the best place right now, but I've seen and heard how you guys were before. Niall still has pictures of you hanging around his room. I've asked about them, but he's never able to tell me. He always changed the subject. You mean a lot to him, Janelle. When him and me started dating, I knew he wasn't completely over you. I guess it was my mistake for believing that I could help him move on," she said laughingly. I look at her and she's almost at tears. "I... I broke up with him, Janelle." My eyes grow wide.

"W-What?" I say in disbelief. "N-No. I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm s-sorry. You guys look great together!" Am I convincing her or trying to fool myself?

"I-It's fine, Janelle," Lisa says giving me a small smile. She grabs a hold of my hands as she continues, "Talk to him please." She lets go and joins the rest of the girls as they step out. I turn back around and there's just an eerie silence.

"Janelle?" I look up and Louis is coming out of the kitchen. I can't hold it in anymore. Immediately I run over to him and start balling into his chest.

"W-Why me, Louis? T-This is all just too m-much," I say in between my sobs. "I'm s-so confused on what I'm supposed to do now. Everyone just k-keeps telling me to talk to Niall, but I-I'm scared, Louis. I'm scared to f-feel anything for him again. I don't want t-to get hurt again."

"Shh," Louis says as he wraps his arms around me. He leads me to the living room and we both take a seat on the couch. I'm still sobbing in his chest. All the memories are running through my head and my heart is aching. I can actually feel the pain in the pit of my heart. I'm in a war with myself, and I'm losing. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling confused, but I feel like I have to be before starting to figure things out.

After about 15 minutes I finally stop crying and silence fills the house again. I'm looking down at my hands and I can feel Louis staring down at me.

"Do you want to-"

"We kissed," I say cutting off Louis. "Niall and I kissed when we were all in Hawaii." I look up at Louis and it takes him a minute for him to nod, signaling me to continue. "It was on the day of your guys' anniversary. We were cleaning each other's faces off from the cake fight we had and we... we just kissed. Louis, I-I don't know... for a second it felt like we were back to three years ago before all the drama; happy and in love."

"Janelle, can I tell you what I saw between Niall and you when we were in Hawaii?" he asks. I hesitantly nod. "On the night when Taylor and I brought you home from work, Niall followed us; I knew he was. I left your place but stuck around near the elevator to see what Niall would do. He stood at your door and he couldn't knock at it. He fell to the ground sobbing. Like you, he was mad at himself. I never saw two people hate themselves so much. Both of you guys were broken and I honestly had no idea how to fix the both of you. Then, there was that weird period between the both of you. I think after not seeing him for so long, your emotions for him started popping up, whether they were old emotions or emotions that were still there that's up to you. But Niall was left confused too. Then, you guys became friends and honestly that was the happiest I've ever seen the both of you in a long time; I saw pure happiness radiating from both of your guys' faces. When we went on that hike and you guys ran past us with you on his back, I was like, 'Now there's the Niall and Janelle I know.' You guys are your best around each other, you know when you put all the troubles aside," he says laughingly and I chuckle with him. "Don't focus on the bad, Janelly. Nobody's perfect." He places a hand on my thigh and tries to look into my eyes. I look at him and I can't help but smile. I bring my legs up to my chest and just rest my head into Louis' chest as we let ourselves relax into the couch.