Trusting that irksome Shortie (Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan Fanfiction)

♞ 18: Question

Chapter 18

-x- Lumii -x-

"Heichou, please don't do this."

"Don't do what?"

"Please stop raising my hopes up."

I'm still buried in Heichou's embrace inside this cramped Storage Room. Not really the perfect place for a scene like this but I couldn't care less.

Heichou finally let go of me and said, "I have no idea what you mean." I lowered my head and stared at the floor like it's the most interesting thing in the world and said, "Oh come on! Don't act so dense! You're making this so hard for me!"

He put his hand on top of my head, ruffled my hair and said, "Maybe you're the one who's dense."

"Huh? What? How come?" I asked incredulously. He just sighed and said, "Forget it. Just trust me that everything will be okay. That is, if you give the signal. A proper signal, I mean, not like the one you did earlier because I think that that one is just on impulse."

Before I can ask what signal he is talking about he moved closer to me, put his lips near my ear, and whispered using a very seductive tone saying, "Now, you need to get out and clean the HQ 'cause you still lost to our bet and I'm sure as hell that I won't go easy on you."

Ugh. For a second I thought that he would say some very sweet thing that's going to send shivers down my spine but once again, it was just me who expected that. I should really stop expecting impossible things to happen because expectations lead to heartbreak and I think I'm going to get there very soon, the heartbreak part I mean. Because even if I try so hard, I still can't stop myself from expecting that this thing between us would work out.

But if I'm going to get my fragile heart broken by him, I still think that it was worth it and I'll still have no regrets in falling for him.

-x- Rivaille -x-

The brat finally walked out of the room and I think that she didn't really get what I meant by signal. Tss. I should've made it simpler for her and just said, 'Just confess already! So that I know where I stand!'

Yes, I know that I'm being shitty because I want her to confess first and I admit that that is something a shitty guy would do but I'm in this shitty situation where I need to think about my decisions long and hard because something shitty might happen if I make one shitty move, like break-up with that shitty princess.

Someone should give me a record for the most number of times the word shitty is used in a sentence.

But that is what I feel right now. I feel like shit. I've been through a lot. I've seen many of my comrades die right in front of my eyes. I've heard their screams. And when I thought that I finally went numb from all that experience, a brat suddenly barges in my life and makes me feel something again. She made me realized that my emotions weren't just an illusion that I made up because she made me feel it.

But before I can go further, she needs to decide first. She needs to know if what she feels is really love or not. Because, she's young and all but she needs to make a decision. Now. Before it's too late.

Before that Myrna forces me to marry her.

-x- Lumii -x-

I'm in the library, dusting off the bookshelves. I saw Mikasa enter the room and I immediately greeted her with a "Hey Mikasa!" She slightly smiled at me and said, "Hey." She walked around the library and sat down on the couch when she finally found a book.

Mikasa has been like my sister since I was a kid and something is really bothering me right now so I thought that maybe I could get some advice from her. I sat next to her and said, "Mikasa, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Inhale. Exhale. "I can't believe I'm asking this but, how do you know if you love a person?" Mikasa seemed baffled by my question at first but she closed her book, looked at me seriously then sighed.

"I can't believe you're asking me this question, considering the fact that I don't have anybody that I love in the romantic way that you're saying."

"You have Eren." I said with a playful grin.

"W-what the! No!" Wow. It's not every day that you get to see Mikasa stutter.

"Mikasa loves Eren! Mikasa loves Eren! Mikasa loves Eren!" I teased in a sing song voice.

She immediately regained her composure and said, "You're not going to stop unless I answer that question, huh." I nod even though she didn't say it as a question.

"Well, for me, you love someone if you're willing to die for them. If you're willing to sacrifice anything just for their sake. If you're willing to give it your all just to protect him." Mikasa said with sincerity.

Typical Mikasa. And it's very clear that she's referring to her love for Eren. But I actually think the opposite.

"You know Mikasa I love you and all but I think that there is something wrong with what you said." She just raised her eyebrow at me so I just continued what I was saying. "I think that if you love someone, you don't do anything suicidal like die for them but I think that you should do everything just to stay alive with them because who wants to have a love story with a dead person, anyway?"

Mikasa's eyes grew wide as she listened to what I just said. But after some time, she chuckled softly and said, "I'm amazed. You really are getting smarter."

I just rolled my eyes and said, "I'll take that as a compliment."

She smiled at me and said, "But really, you're getting smarter. I mean not book smart like in Math or something but you're getting smarter in terms of being a person. You're the one who asked a question but it seems that I'm the one who got an answer.  You really are starting to unravel the mysteries that your heart confines. I'm so proud of you, you really are turning to a fine lady.''

Mikasa is turning all emotional on me and it's getting creepy but I think I can get used to her compliments. Nah, just kidding. But because of this talk I also learned something.

We all have our own perspective about love that's why I don't need to ask anybody how to find out if I love someone because the answer always leads back to me and me alone. Only I can answer that question no matter how many people I ask.

That's why I'm finally giving Heichou that signal.

18: End

Finished: 10:44 AM, 10/19/2013

Heyyo! I survived my exams! Thank God! And I also want to thank everyone who wished me luck :") But I also have a question for you guys.

You see, I've finished the plot of this a long time ago and I plan to make a twist in this story that I know is crazy but I think I can pull it off well. So here's the question: Would you still read this story no matter how crazy (not really crazy but more of..uh..you know, unexpected) the twist is? 

I just really need your opinion so that I'll know if I need to make some changes. Thanks :)