Ricky dillon's sister

chap32

Madi pov
Unedited * *
Trigger warning

10 new reminders on why I'm a disappointment, all laced along my hip. No one will ever know. I know it's risky to have razors so that's why I used a safety pin. Honestly I think they're the best tool. Inconspicuous, everybody has safety pins, use it on clothing, crafts, no one will ever know, but deadly sharp when used the right way. These aren't as deap as a blade, that just means they won't scar as much so it makes no difference. Pain is pain I bleed no matter what tool.

Nether of the boys have come up to check on me and only one boy had come back so far. Best guess is Connor because it's still relatively quiet and if it was any of the other boys they would have been screwing around and breaking everything at this point.

I just hoping that Jc and Sam don't tell anyone what happened earlier. The less people know the better. It's starting to get late so I put some PJ's on and do my nightly routine. Normally if I fall asleep before dinner they leave me alone. They don't want to wake me so I get to miss out on dinner and one of the boys checking for new cuts. I guess I'll be going to be early for the next few days, and I'm sure once the tour starts they'll be too busy to do all these exhausting rituals every night so I'll be able to get away with a lot more shit.

I climb under the covers and before I know it I'm out like a light.

*** the next morning

I feel the bed dip and bolt up immediately.

"Woah Madi calm down, its just me." Trevor says.

"Sorry. Anyway what do you want. " Its currently 10:30 and I'm not a morning person.

"Ricky told me to tell you to get ready for the day and finish any last minute packing, although from the looks of it you haven't even started."

"Yea, well. But why do I need to get ready I don't wanna go anywhere."

" Sucks." He sasses. " Get up and start the day!" With that he jumps up and walks out of my room.

I pull my lazy ass out of bed and over to my closet. I really don't wanna get dressed because that means I have to see Ricky and I haven't really talked to him since that night so.... In other words I'm fucked.

I settle on a simple black V-neck, a pair of cut off leggings with some black vans. What can I say, I'm a colorful one. I pull my hair into a pony and do some simple make-up. I've never really been fond of make-up but I do wear something simple-- like mascara every once and a while.

I grab my blue duffle bag and begin throwing random shit in it. A shirt here, some pants there anything that might be useful for the tour. I'm not sure how long we'll be gone but I'm to lazy to ask so I'll just pack everything. Better to be over prepared then under, so....

"Hey Madi." Kian bursts through the door, guess he never heard of knocking but whatever. "So I brought you some breakf-"

"Not hungry" Please leave.

"Yea and I'm Liam Hemsworth. Eat." He sits on my bed and places the tray next to him.

I stand up and move to the bathroom, once again throwing anything insite into the bag, making sure to put some pins in a side pocket. Can't leave without 'em.

" Madi. Come on don't be this way."

"What way?" I ask and come out from the bathroom. "Look Kian I'm not your responsibility so just enjoy some breakfast without a freak like me."

He sighs and pulls me into his lap.

"Woah!" I quickly stand up, did he forget I'm not one to be touched."What would your girlfriend say?" I try to make light so he won't make me talk about my feelings on being touched.

"Oh hush. " He pulls me back down but I don't try to get away. I know its useless, instead I sit stiff as a board, just because I'm too weak to fight it doesn't mean I have to like it. He pulls me close, but it was gentle, not anything I'm use to. " Mads remember what we talked about? I'm not here to hurt you, or push you aside. I promised to never hurt you, and you promised to let me help. Remember? "

I just stay silent. I never thought he'd actually remember. Nobody has ever cared this much. Maybe. Maybe he really does want to help me? Maybe, I have a chance. Despite my better judgment I mutter a small, "Ok."

I look over at the toast and slowly pick it up, studying it. "You can do it. You're better then this."

And with that I take my first bite.

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Hey guys, I'm gonna be camping for the next week or so, so I might not have service, which means I won't be able to check my inbox everyday. If you need to text me still leave a message and I'll respond as soon as I can. Love you!