Ricky dillon's sister

chap21

Kian's POV

Unedited

I want to hold her. I want to protect her, even if she's alseep because I know the nightmares will could back sooner or later.

Instead, I sit on her window seat thing. I know if I sleep in the same bed with her she'll probably have another panic attack. Its hard to believe in the few days she's been here she's already had like 5.

What the hell is wrong with us? Some of us are almost adult like, why can't we do something as simple as keeping her from a panic attack? Why can't we help her?

All these questions and all i can come up with is an exasperating sigh.

***
It's almost noon, none of the other guys are up. No surprise there. Even if they are, they're probably too hung over to be any useful.

Once Madison wakes up I think we're gonna have a special Kian, Madi get to know you day. She'll probably hate the idea buuuttt she doesn't really have a choice. In the end she'll have fun. And it may present the opportunity to talk about what  happened last night. I'm still not sure if she heard what Ricky said.

***

Currently I'm on my phone playing Flappy Doge. It's been about 30 minutes and she's still not up. I mean, I guess she is related to Ricky.

I'm about to beat my record of 57 when I hear a small moan. My head snaps up and I see Madi's eyes slowly open.

Roof roof.

" Damn it!" I whisper /scream. "Fucking bull ass! Really? One away?"

I throw my phone on the floor. I had been playing that game for the past fucking hour. This is ridiculous " Fucking bull shit. " I mutter once more.

I look from my fallen phone to see Madi's eyes are open. She still hasn't notice my presentation. All she's doing is staring at the ceiling, lost in her own mind.

I wonder if I should grab her attention. If that would scare her to much. Should I just wait till she sits up then clear my throat? Eh, let's pray this doesn't freak her out.

"Ehmm, Madi?" I whisper in the most gentle way. I wait a few seconds but her focus is never pulled from the spot. She tends to do this a lot. Stare off into her own little world. I just wish she'd let us know what she's thinking about.

I stand up, hoping the movement won't pull her out of her trance. The last thing she needs is to freak out again. That can't be good for her heart. Maybe I should schedule a doctors appointment? That's what a responsible adult would do right? "Madi?" I squat next to her bed, but she still makes no conscious move. "Mad?" I place a hand on her shoulder. Her mussels tighten and she pulls away a bit, but compared to what she would have done just a few days ago, this is great! Maybe I'm making some progress. I have a feeling that this small display of trust won't be extended to the other guys.

Of course we still have a long way to go, but a small step is still a step.

I can't help but to smile a little. I can save this girl. Madi thinks she's to far gone to be saved, she's lost hope, but I haven't. I can tape back the broken pieces. I'm not sure Ricky will be able to, hell, I'm not even sure he cares. He says he loves Madi but then he pulls shit like that! I remember when Madi was all Ricky would talk about. His baby sister, always joking, ready for the next adventure. That's the Madi I want to know. That's the Madi I want to be taking care of.

"What." She turns her head but refuses to look me in the eyes. Her eyes vacantly stare at my nose. Most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference, but after years of Vidcon and Playlist meets you pick up on a little social ticks like that.

"Moring babe" I notice her slight cringe when I say babe. "Mads, can you look at me?"

She makes no effort to even pretend she's looking me in the eyes. She's just, givin up. " Sweetheart, please." I whisper, making sure not to use the word babe.

I make sure my hand is in her full view as I slowly bring it up to her face. Her eyes carefully watch it but she makes no movement when I slowly tilt her chin up, although she does everything in her power to not look me in the eyes. " Hey, sunflower. Let me see those eyes." Yes, I gave her a nickname. Judge me.

After a few seconds of consideration she cautiously makes eye contact, but quickly darts away. She raises her eyebrows, which result in a small glare forming. "Sunflower?" The sass and sarcasm poor out of her. With just one word she can bash your brains with a lethal level of sarcasm.

I admire that.

"Oh hush, you know you secretly like it."

She pulls her chin away, but for once it wasn't because she was scared. A small smile has formed, which I am proud to say I'm the cause of.

"Anyway, you're here because? "

And we're back to the front she puts up. I actually thought I made a lasting break through. That maybe she would let me help. But what if that sad smile was her letting me in.

To someone else, a smile is just a greeting. A way to say hello. But maybe for Madi, a smile is a way of saying, 'One shot. Maybe. Don't fuck it up.' Of course I could be reading to much into it, but I mean you never know.

"Go get ready. You and me are having a Madi, Uncle Kian day!" I stand up and smile hoping she'll follow in suit.

" I feel like its more of a Aunty Kian." She said almost unaudible.

Maybe. Maybe I have a shot. Here's to hoping I don't fuck it up!

MADI POV

My mind is racing a thousand miles a minute. Sarcasm is a gard. Keep it, especially today. Go with Kian, but never put your full trust in anyone.

People can change on a dime, and Kian has that same capability.
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I know I haven't updated in forever, once again I'm so sorry. As you are aware I'm a really fucked up person, I'm just thankful to have all of your amazing support. Keep on keeping on guys. I love you.