In the Light

Chapter Sixty-Eight: Lustra

"Sam, I can't get an angle. Would you-?" Ruby held out the syringe. Sam took it and proceeded to take her blood. He handed the syringe back the Ruby.

Meg put her arm on the table in the war room.  Ruby injected her blood into Meg.  She screamed in pain and hunched over.  "Meg!"  Cas shouted.  He knelt down in front of her and tried to look her in the eye.  A few seconds later, she stopped screaming and leaned back in the chair.  "That hurt like a son of a bitch,"  she said.

"Ruby?"  Sam asked.  She was leaning forward, her hair covering her face.  Her arms were crossed tightly.  Sam pulled her hair back just in time to see the glow in her arms fading.

She sat back in her chair, dizzy.  "This is going to be a long eight hours."

• • •

It was the sixth hour.  Everyone had gotten back, but Meg only wanted Cas and Ruby with her.  "It's amazing," Cas said. "The more injections Ruby gives you, your face, not your physical face, keeps changing. You're so beautiful." He put a hand to the side of Meg's face.

"Are you saying I was ugly before?" Meg asked.

"Of course not."

"I was just kidding, Clarence."

Ruby held the syringe in her hand.  "Ready?"

"Are you?"  Meg asked. 

"Not really."  Each injection put both of them in pain.  Ruby was a little glad that Sam left.  She didn't want him to see her in pain.

Meg put her arm on the table and slapped the inside of her arm.  "Go on." 

When it was over, Ruby said, "So, do you feel any more human?"

"I don't really remember what being human feels like.  I feel kind of, what is it?  Sad."

"So you and Cas can bond over not understanding emotions."  Cas smiled almost imperceptibly.

"What did you say when you went to Confession?"  Meg asked Ruby, trying to sound nonchalant.  "I only ask because I want to know," she paused, "where do I start to even look for forgiveness."

"It's different for everyone.  For me, I had just done so many bad things.  I can't even think of everything.  Basically, what I said was that I was angry and I shut people out and I lied and I said horrible things to some people.  The most important thing is that you're sorry for what you did." 

Cas rubbed Meg's shoulders.  "I think that once you become human, everything you did as a demon is null and void.  That's not to say that you won't make mistakes as a human, but you're going to change.  You're already changing."

"Oh, Clarence, you really know how to make a girl's knees shake."

"And, the moment's over," Ruby said.

• • •

Hour seven and the pain didn't seem to be getting any better.  Meg tossed her hair back.  Castiel asked again if she was okay.  "Relax, Clarence.  This doesn't even compare to the torture I've had."

"Crowley," Cas muttered.  "I'll be glad when he's sent back to Hell."

"I'll be a lot more vulnerable when I'm human.  It's easy to torture humans.  Everything hurts you.  Torture for demons is more difficult.  I trained under Alistair; I could torture with the best of them.  I was a natural," she said bitterly.  "It's different when you're on the other side of the holy water soaked blade.  I'd heard so many screams, but I had no idea how bad it would be."  She stared at the floor.  "The burning from the holy water and salt.  The sharp and deep pain of the blade going into my side, cutting my skin."

Cas knelt in front of her, forcing her to look at him.  "It's over now."

"Chaos is an angel that fell in love with a demon.  I can see it in your eyes, Castiel.  I can't believe that you, an amazing and kind angel, fell in love with me, a once terrifying demon."

"Must be fate."

• • •

Ruby looked around the room.  At the edge of the room stood Mary, Sam, Kevin, Dean, and Julissa.  This was it.  Ruby Bradbury, full of self-hatred and strong love for others with a roller coaster of a past, was about to slam the gates of Hell forever.  She looked down at the piece of paper she held.  She'd memorized the words, but she wouldn't risk messing up.  "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, hanc animam redintegra, lustra."

She cut her hand and let the blood pool in her palm.  She could see the orange glow inside her arm.  She ignored the pain.  Meg stood in front of her, Cas a foot behind her.  Ruby put her hand over Meg's mouth.  "Lustra."

Their eyes met.  Meg's eyes were black, but as she blinked, they became normal."  They both laughed happily.  The sound of thunder rolled outside.   "We did it," Ruby said.  "We did it," she repeated, but her words slurred this time.  Her vision blurred at the edges.

Ruby heard voices:

"Oh, God."  That was Meg.

"No."  Sam.

"Ruby."  Cas; she felt his strong arms grab her.

Her eyes closed of her own accord then there was nothing.

• • •

Castiel lowered her body to the ground.  Sam was there.  He knelt over her; she was the only thing he could see.  Tears fell from his eyes onto her face.  "This wasn't supposed to happen.  Cas, tell me she's not dead.  She's going to wake up."  Sam saw Cas place his hand on her forehead.

"She's not dead."  Sam closed his eyes tightly, letting more tears fall.  "She's still damaged."  Sam shook his head in denial.  "I don't know if this is her body trying to heal itself or ..." He trailed off.  "Sam, I don't know if she'll wake up."