In the Light

Chapter Forty-Five: Nest

Ruby held the tiny, white pill in her hand. It was her first day taking one instead of two like normal. Eventually, she would stop taking them completely. She was undeniably scared. She didn't want the medicine to hurt her baby, of course, but she was worried about what she'd become like without it. There were still the natural pills that were supposed to help, but she didn't trust them as much. She picked those up with a sigh and swallowed them along with her normal medicine.

Sam appeared in the bathroom doorway. "We think we found another case. We think it's vampires - a first for you. We're gonna go ahead and leave soon - all of us. If you're done in here, I'll pack everything up."

"Don't be ridiculous, Sam. I can pack up the toiletries. You can take the clothes."

"Okay," he pretended to be annoyed, rolling his eyes. He kissed her forehead and left.

She rushed to pack things up, not wanting to be alone for longer than was necessary. She couldn't face herself. At least when she was with others, she could fake it and feel a little normal. She didn't want to pretend that she was okay, but sometimes it was all she could do to keep herself together.

She hadn't gone to any doctors. Cas said that he could make sure the baby was okay. All he had to do was touch Ruby and he could see how everything was - the baby's health and her health. He could tell Ruby was having a hard time, but he still said he couldn't help her with that. "It's best explained through a series of mathematical equations," he said. So, she had to stop taking her meds - the one thing she thought could help her.

• • •

Ruby slept in the car for most of the drive. It seemed to happen every time they went on a case. Ruby, Sam, and Dean would ride together. Ruby would fall asleep, but not all the way asleep, and Dean would ask Sam how she was doing. Sometimes, Sam needed a break from taking care of her. He needed someone to take care of him and ask how he was doing.

"I don't know, Dean. She doesn't talk to me much. She's scared. She's worried about everything that could go wrong, and so much could go wrong. I mean, I'm worried too, but I can push it aside. It's like it's all she thinks about. I wish I knew how to help her."

"Me too, Sammy. But, she's not hunting anymore, so you don't have to worry about that, and she's never alone. We'll make sure she's always with someone 'cos that seems to help her. It's gonna be tough, but we got this. I love her, Sam. We'll take care of her."

"Yeah, okay." Sam sounded choked up. Ruby shifted closer to him and sighed sleepily. He rubbed her arm, and she stretched, pretending to have just woken up. "Hey," Sam said. "How are you feeling?"

She rubbed her eyes. "I'm good." It wasn't a lie this time. "Are we almost there?"

"Yeah," Dean said. "We're going to drop you off at the hotel with Mom and Cas and go check out the nest. We think it might be a pretty big one. A lot of people have gone missing."

"Do you think they're still alive?"

"Maybe. The abductions didn't start until recently, so most of them are probably alive. They'll probably be pretty bad off though. It's a lot of physical and emotional trauma."

"I can't even imagine..." Ruby trailed off.

• • •

Ruby was pacing again. Sam, Dean, and Mary had left what seemed like hours ago. She knew there was a lot to do. They had to be careful about infiltrating the nest. They had to kill all the vampires, and get everyone out safely. But, still.

"This isn't good for you or your child," Castiel said. "I could put you to sleep," he offered.

"Can't you check on them?" Ruby asked, ignored his offer for help, still pacing and wringing her hands.

"Sam told me to stay here..."

"Right, so I won't do anything rash. As much as I hate this, you could put me to sleep so I can't do anything and go help them."

"That seems logical. Are you ready?" Ruby laid down on the couch and nodded. She was asleep before she knew it.

• • •

Sam gently shaking her woke her up. Her eyes flew open and she started hyperventilating. She sat up quickly and hugged Sam. He was shirtless and smelled like blood and sweat. "Thank God. I was so worried."

"Yeah, Cas told me. It's okay. We killed all the vamps and got all the people out. We took them to the hospital and told them that some psycho kidnapped them. Everyone's fine; no one got hurt." He told her all this while he waited for her to calm down. She finally relaxed into him.

"Can we just," she took a shaky breath "watch TV or something now?" She pulled away from him and sat back on the couch. She smiled weakly, and he smiled back.

"Sure. You pick it out while I shower. I'll be back soon." Her eyes followed his muscled back as he walked to the bathroom.