One Night Stand

Letting go.

Today is the day. The one I have dreaded for all week. Today is the day I finally let go of my mom. I am supposed to give a speech but, I think that most people don't want to talk about how much they are going to miss someone after the one they loved most is dead. I have written one because I'm not a bitch that does what she wants. Atleast at times.

Kian was wearing a black suit for the attire. I just decided to wear a black dress that went down to my knees but it was a loose dress that flows at the bottom. I put on a black cardigan and some black flats. I just put my hair in a bun with a black bow in the back. I only wore some concealer under my eyes to cover up my bags with some waterproof mascara, knowing that I would be crying today.

As we walked in I saw Jc. He was really close with my mom after the break up with Kian. So when I saw him he had really puffy eyes. I felt bad for him but I'm still scared of him after what he did to me. He saw me and started to walk my way. I grabbed on to Kian's arm. He saw Jc and stepped in front of me. "Look dude I just wanna talk. Britt can we talk for a sec" he looked behind Kian to reveal me. Kian said "Anything you can say to her you stay to me." He was being too harsh. I felt bad for Jc so I'm just gonna give him a chance "Kian it's fine. I'll be back in 5" He nodded and kissed me on the lips just to piss Jc off. Which also made me mad.

Jc took me away from Kian and we sat outside on a bench. He started to cry and I was honestly so confused. He had not reason to cry, if anything I did. "Britt I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you. I was drunk to get through the pain of you leaving me. I am sorry Britt. You don't have to love me again but I don't want you to hate me forever." He said in between sobs. I'm still mad but honestly I don't hate him. "Jc look, the last thing I want is to deal with this on the day of my moms funeral. I don't hate you okay. I never did,but I am mad at you for what you did. I would be glad to have lunch and talk with you about this some other time. Just not right now." He smiled and hugged me. At first I was shocked

All I could think about was my speech. Most people that came up and gave a speech was the same. Mainly about how the miss her so much and how she was an amazing person. That's true but they all have the sam bullshit story and I'm tired of them lying through their teeth. Eventually they called me up.

I looked out into the crowd. I looked at Jc, Kian, and then my mothers casket. I looked down and said mu peace, "My mom was.....actually a pretty bad mom. Not gonna lie, she took more care of her roses then her daughters. As much as I love her, I can never forget about her rose garden. Every night we would play any game that you could make up and it eould always end with us sitting under the rose arch watching the sun go to sleep as my mom would always say. My dad took care of us most, which wasent bad but, he isn't the best at hair." The all giggled as I did too. My eyes started to well up with tears "When I had came to find out about my mothers death......I felt my whole world fall apart. She was a beautiful woman with a wonderful heart. I was a tough teenager and some people know that I still can be, she was there for me even when I didn't want her to be. And that annoyed me. For some reason I was a bitch to my mom. The last thing I said to my mom before I ran away with my friends to LA, I told her that I never loved her and I was do happy to be leaving. Now I hate myself everyday for it. I now realize how much the word hate can hurt someone. That's why I don't say that anymore. I hate nothing. I may dislike something but, never hate. My mother eventually moved to LA after we talked and I needed her out here, but I'm still guilty. So when my mother goes in the ground I ask that you place red roses on her casket for the memories that you had with her. Thank you for your time." When I looked up I saw everyone with tears in their eyes as well as me.

When we went to the burial site I didn't speak a word to Kian. He didn't bother to talk to me. I think he knew to leave me alone on my time of mourning.

As everyone threw in their roses I kept mine in my hand, not wanting to throw it in because if I did that I knew I was letting my mother go. I'm not ready for that. Kian looked at me and said "Brittany I know you don't want to do this. But please throw it in so you can let go." Jc walked over to me and the only thing that I could think if doing was to hug him. I ran over to him and hugged him. I cried into his chest not letting go. He lifted up my chin and said "Do it for Gracie." I nodded my head and I grabbed his hand and walked over to the casket and laid down the rose.

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That's the end! Of this chapter anyways. I want to know if you are for Jc or for Kian. Cause right now idk what to put.......help. anyways I will try to update daily if you guys want. Can you try to to get the votes up to 5 so I can know that you want thanks😊

Sara💗