CHANCES | HVC

30.

part thirty,
21:50- ;

"Hana!" I hear my name being called from a distance, I couldn't process who it was from, all I could continue to do was stand still as I watched Soonyoung step off the stage, walking over to the table as he enveloped his Father in an embrace, shaking my own Father's hand.

"Hana!" The same voice call again, I wouldn't have processed that either if it wasn't for a harsh grip on my shoulder turning me around to face the owner of the voice.

Hansol stared at me with pure fear, his own brown orbs cloudy with tears threatening to fall as he studied my blank expression.

"Say something" he whimpered, mouth forming a sad pout as he grasped both of my shoulders in his hands, shaking me ever so slightly to bring me back to earth, back to him. But it wasn't going to work, not this time.

"For gods sake Hana, after all of these nights you're still the person I want, say something" he pleaded, a single tear ran down his pale face, dropping to the carpet just like my heart did. My breathing was ragged, I knew if I spoke one word I would break again, and I didn't want to seem weak in front of him.

"I would have done anything for you;" I started, my voice cracking as I pulled myself out of his grasp, "and I don't mean that I would take a bullet for you, even though I would make my body a shield to ensure your safety."

"No, no. I mean I would have done anything for you. I would have put band-aids and stitches on all of the cuts and scrapes that other people have left on your body. I would have put my favorite jacket on the ground, would have picked up all of the rocks on the street, just to make sure that your steps were safe. I would have given up my house, all of the lights and electricity because you were my home and my source of energy. I would have given up my life, whether that meant being your Kevlar vest or being the person who held your hand as we ran away together, I would have been there."

"I would have kissed you in the pouring rain, would have danced until we got a cold and were stuck in bed for a week, would have put a blanket on the hood of my car and watched the stars on a dangerous cliff that screamed cheesy."

"Because of you, I lost my opportunity to give my anything to a person who deserved anything, and maybe the day we met was a mistake." I was left breathless after my words, my entrances rushing out one by one, not giving Hansol a time to speak. After my words I was left a mess before him, I didn't want to seem pathetic but as the tears poured from my eyes I didn't care, I was vulnerable and I was weak. All because of some boy.

He was silent whilst I spoke, ears catching on to every single word as they poured out of my mouth, occasionally he nodded, opening his mouth but only to close it straight after. It was only a few minutes of silence later, in which he spent trying to process all of my words, when he spoke.

"I swore I wouldn't let a person define my happiness but fuck..." He trailed off, spinning around on his heel as I started plainly at his back. All that could be heard was each other's heavy breathing. Thick with regrets and sorrow.

"I think it's time for me to go" I whispered, gulping down the bile in my throat as I pushed passed him, heading for the door.

The cool atmosphere outside instantly made my arms encircle my body, seeking for some source of warmth but unsuccessfully finding none.

Slowly, I made my way to the limo, opening the door and letting myself in, taking a seat on the plush leather.

I let my head rest against the window, watching the still world outside as it continued to live on. I replayed the events in my head, making the same bile in my throat rise again, but I swallowed it down as before when the sound of the limo door opened.

I was prepared for it to be Hansol, prepared for another of his preppy excuses, but it wasn't Hansol.

Father stepped into the large limo, taking a seat across from me on the leather as he stared at my broken state. Slowly, he let out a deep sigh, opening his mouth and closing it again, stopping anything he was about to say.

"We will talk about this at home" he said simply, lowering his gaze to his hands, enclosed around each other on his lap. He was disappointed with me without a doubt, and that hurt just as much as what Hansol did to me.

Instantly when I went home I walked as fast as I could up the stairs and to my bedroom. Straight away I tore off my heels and changed into sweatpants, laying on the bed face-down in the pillows as I continued to let out my emotions.

As much as my heart didn't want what happened tonight to be real, my mind knew that the pain wasn't going to simply go away.

I was so caught up with letting out my emotions into my pillow that I didn't notice the sound of the door opening, until a cold hand was placed on my bare arm, making me flinch at the sudden touch.

"Hana?" My Father whispered, his tone of voice wasn't in the sense of disappointment, nor was it pity, it was the kind of tone that was used when a parent was trying to comfort their child.

"You don't have to say anything, but I need to let you know something." He continues, I gulp down my hiccups as I turn around, sitting up to face him as I watch his face scrunch up in sorrow.

"If a boy causes you this much pain, he was never worth it in the first place. There are so many more better guys out there for you, and that's coming from me."

"But I love-"

"No Hana, you have to say goodbye."