fashion blogger, book one // phan (EDITING)

Fifteen

In the kitchen I connected my phone to the sound speakers and put it on shuffle.

"Muse?" Phil asked and chuckled a little.

"Yep," I said, and walked over to him.

"I've exposed your lies, baby..." Phil quietly sang along and I grinned.

"The underneath's no big surprise," I then sang, and shortly kissed Phil's lips. "Proud that you still know the lyrics," I stated and smiled before Phil put on a face of faked offense.

"Excuse me, what's that supposed to mean?"

I laughed quietly and turned around again to get some of the ingredients out of the fridge. I had already prepared the pizza dough before, so now we basically only needed to put the toppings on it.

"So, um... do you want peppers on it? Or pepperonis?"

"Peppers."

"How boring. You're still not one for the spicy stuff, hm?"

"Ugh, shut up."

I chuckled but placed both, pepperonis and normal peppers on the kitchen counter before I handed him a knife. "Can you slice the pepper, please?"

"Sure," he said as he nodded and turned around. But well, it honestly didn't take long for me to notice his strange... technique, let's call it that.

"Holy shit, have you never cut a pepper before?" I laughed and walked over to his side. "Give me the knife."

He handed it to me and I started cutting. "There you go," I mumbled as I showed him how to do it. However, he didn't even look, but rather spent his time staring at me.

"Phil, you-" I had now turned my head to look at him too, and was surprised with his lips meeting mine almost immediately.

The music was still playing in the background quietly, and I smiled into the kiss.

Phil pulled his lips away from me and looked at me. "In unbroken virgin realities..."

"...is tired of living," I finished the line and kissed him again, putting the knife away so I could pull him a little closer to me.

I let go of him after a while, a smile on my lips.

Phil looked at me, but I couldn't identify the look on his face. He took my hand and kissed my cheek before he looked me in the eyes again.

"Maybe it has been the worst choice of my life when I decided to speak with you at the party, not for me, but for you, and yet I just..."

He placed his hand on my cheek and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Phil, I-"

"I guess a part of me still hoped you would reject me, for your own good. But you didn't, and for some reason I'm stood here with you right now, and though I know I shouldn't, I can't stop smiling."

"Why shouldn't you?" I asked, or rather whispered, but Phil just shook his head a little.

"You're what is making me happy right now, isn't that all that matters?"

"Phil, I want to know what you're so scared of. What could be-"

"I can't tell you. I'm... I'm sorry."

I shook my head a little, but decided to give up on it for tonight. I would get him to tell me, sooner or later.

At least I hoped so.

You're weak. You've just fallen for him once again, and he's gonna hurt you just as he did before.

I ignored the cynical voice inside my mind.