fashion blogger, book one // phan (EDITING)

Five

I turned around and walked away. Not gonna lie, I wanted a dramatic ending and was kind of trying to be like all the people in the movies. I didn't look at Phil, but he didn't say a word, so I wasn't sure how he felt.

Well, at least I knew that I felt like shit, to be honest.

But before my body could even show any reaction to how I felt, Phil's voice cut through the silence between us. "My coat."

I stopped.

It was just now I realised I still wore his coat.

I turned around slowly. Phil still stood there, looking at me. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, much as they did on my face. I stepped a little closer to him and was about to take the coat off and hand it back to him. But before I could do so, he grabbed my wrist. Well, that should've been pretty predictable, but I had been oblivious enough not to think of it.

His blue eyes stared at mine. "Please, don't leave me."

Now I could feel my eyes getting wider, simply because I wasn't expecting him to say that. Or basically, I wasn't expecting him to care.

I didn't know what to say. I knew I should just say no and leave him. But I remained silent, tears still streaming down my face.

"Please, Dan, don't leave me. Let's go back to the party. Louise will be happy."

I looked him in the eyes. The party? How could he think of that now? Again, I didn't say anything.

I tried to say no, I really did.

But I couldn't bring myself to let this single word escape my lips.

"Or you can just stay with me. How about we go to the hotel bar and have a drink? I haven't seen you in years, I wanna catch up, please. Stay with me. Just this one night, just one time. Please, Dan."

I looked at him. Honestly, this whole situation was just... weird. I guess that usually when you meet your ex-boyfriend again after five years, there shouldn't be this many tears and hateful feelings. But just like the hateful feelings, the affectionate ones shouldn't be there either. No, there should be awkward smiles instead, maybe a shy hello or something like that.

But well, judging by the way my lips were still swollen and the way I felt tears streaming down my cheek, it didn't quite go like that for me and Phil.

More than everything else in the world I wished for the ability to forgive him, honestly. But I just wasn't capable of it. I couldn't just ignore what happened, couldn't ignore what he'd done to me.

But what if he wasn't lying? What if he actually hadn't cheated on me?

Why did he lie in 2011 then?

I sighed because I was almost certain that he was lying right now and not back in 2011, simply because he couldn't even give me a reason as to why he should've lied back then.

When I looked at Phil now, I didn't know what to say. Out of all the things I expected, this definitely wasn't one of them. I had always thought Phil didn't want me. And now he was basically begging for a second chance?

He smiled at my speechlessness. He let go of my wrist, just to take my hand with his other hand right away. He looked me in the eyes for a second, giving me time to let go, and smiled when I didn't.

Phil turned around and walked back to the hotel, dragging me with him.

"Phil, wait," I said quietly and stopped, which made him stop as well. He turned his head to look at me and I bit my lip lightly, lost in thought.