The Unexpected Love

41. The Goodbye

"So this is your way of getting back at me?" His voice was so soft that I swear I almost missed it. 

Rolling my eyes, I said, "What are you talking about Seb?" I was more irritated with his emotions scattering all over the place. 

Narrowing his eyes at me, he hurled his words sharply with a purpose, "You purposely want to hurt me, isn't that it?"

"I'm glad you think so low of me." I scoffed.

"Then what is this.. thing, Diana?" He said motioning his hands back and forth between us.

"I should be the one asking that question." Failing to understand me, he raised his eyebrow in confusion. "You tell me Sebastian, what is this, what's the meaning behind 'I can't do this relationship' then bringing me here; explain the whole shebang to me because none of it makes any sense." Taking in a deep breath, I sat down on my knees in front of him and took his hands in mine. "Seb, I get that your sister dealt with a shitty hand of cards but I don't see how any of that affects us, well.. unless Emilie's your kid."

His face was scrunched up in disgust, "I'm not into incest, Diana." He asserted firmly. A relieved breath left my body as I visibly relaxed.

"Then what is the fucking problem, Sebastian?" 

He didn't respond rather just kept looking at me with a weird incomprehensible expression.

Sighing for what felt like the hundredth time, "What are you not telling me Sebastian?" Upon this his eyes widen only fractionally before he retorted the same question back at me. Without thinking I replied with a negative.

"Are you sure?" He insisted, unconvinced.

"Yes, I don't see any reason why I would lie to you." We sat looking at each other, not saying anything but searching for something to hold on to.

After, what seemed like a few hours, mostly because of the position I was sitting in, he bent forehead and kissed my forehead very softly and murmured against my skin, "Ich liebe dich!" Thankfully, I knew what that meant due to his countless number of repetitions of this particular phrase. 

Suddenly, as if the dormant yet strong sexual desires sprang forward as I stared at his beautiful but sad face. I ignored the confused look on his face as I stood up to straddle him on his bed. Only then did I realise that was indeed hiding something from him. I constructed the possibility of him knowing about Aiden and his marriage proposal but I couldn't wrap my head around it. After all, it was the race week in Europe, so he couldn't be in USA during that time.

I shook my head slightly as if to get rid of the intruding thoughts temporarily. Cupping his face between my hands, I proceed to kiss the round yet edgy tip of his nose followed by either of his cheeks and and reciprocated my love for him in simple words before syncing my lips in motion with his. 

I had pictured the kiss to be nothing short of what fairytales describe-slow, soft, magical, fireworks and et cetera. But as soon as our lips touched, an unspecified hunger ran through each cell of my body. I did not just want him anymore; I needed to feel each part of my body touched by him. 

My love and concern for him.

All the frustration of the high and lows of his emotions.

The annoyance of not knowing the secrets that plagued his mind.

The sadness behind his harsh decisions.

The anxiety regarding what was in store for us.

I was venting out every emotion through this kiss. Things I didn't have the gall to say, and this kiss served as my words I couldn't utter.