Grey Skies, White Lies - Larina | [COMPLETE]

Chapter 40 | "Let's Sleep On It."

- Lizzy's POV -

"I'm-" I began, staring at the sight in front of me. I darted my eyes to either of them alternatively.

"This is not what it looks like." Marina stuttered, hopelessly peering at the empty expression upon my face.

"Isn't it?" I managed to ask, semi-rhetorically, though I so desperately wanted an answer.

"No! She kissed me!" She explained, shaking her head and moving a few inches away from Emily.

I looked towards Emily, acknowledging the jealousy I had initially felt towards her to be warranted.

"There's clearly some sort of trust issue going on with you guys, something that's none of my business, so I'll leave..." She said, going to brush past me and exit the room, only to be stopped by my hand pressed against her shoulder.

"You're going nowhere." I said.

She looked at me, attempting to flash me her 'innocent' eyes, though even her hardest attempt couldn't hide what she truly exerted.

"Lizzy, it's not what it looks like, not at all." Marina repeated, the disparity carrying her voice with both hands.

I shook my head, realising the words I so very wished to speak had failed me already. "Let's go." I said, huffing before turning on heels and leaving the bathroom, giving in without a fight - not something I was used to doing.

I heard Marina's timid footsteps follow closely behind, all the way until we got outside on the streets of Manchester, then she caught up besides me.

"She kissed me." Marina enforced, sending an unwanted drilling through my ears.

"Yeah." I replied, my lack of energy holding me back from expressing how much I truly just wanted to scream.

We arrived back at the hotel within around 20 minutes, clambering up the stairs and into the hotel room in silence.

"I don't deserve this." Marina eventually said, the words escaping her lips wrapping around my throat as if to purposely choke me until I couldn't express my mere emotions.

"You don't deserve this?" I repeated, straining to string the sentence together as I was so shocked by her lack of emotional intelligence.

"No. I don't." She responded, no hesitation, just a statement. The lack of hesitation crawled beneath my skin, it felt as if she'd planned this conversation in her mind already, as if she'd reassured herself multiple times that I would be just fine and would listen to everything she said without question. She was wrong.

"What about what I deserve?" I replied, looking up at her, my glare forcing her to maintain eye contact with me.

"She kissed me. Of course you didn't deserve to walk in on that-" She began before I interrupted her.

"What? Wouldn't you have told me!?" I exclaimed.

"Well... Given how you're reacting, maybe not." She told me with honesty in her voice.

"I don't want a relationship built on lies, Marina." I told her, shaking my head slowly as I processed her defences.

"And I'm not lying to you now. I'm telling you the truth, you know I'm telling you the truth! She kissed me." She said. The way she kept repeating the same three words made it all feel slightly more real as I couldn't help but acknowledge the desperation in her voice. She was making me feel like the guilty one.

I locked my emerald eyes with her brown ones, hoping she'd notice the disappointment and heavy-heart behind them.

"I'm sorry, Lizzy." She said, somewhat softer this time, more of an embrace than an apology. I was so weak for her.

"It all happened so fast..." I drifted, an attempt to shift her apology from the forefront of my mind, I wasn't ready to accept it yet when I barely knew what had happened in the first place.

"I know." She said, a feeble yet honest response.

I sat down on the edge of our bed, running my fingers across the smooth, lilac imprinted bed sheets, listening to the soothing sound of the fabric against my fingertips, embracing my touch rather than Marina.

"Let's sleep on it." She suggested, looking towards the clock reading 10:30pm.

"There's nothing for you to sleep on." I replied, stubbornly.

"The guilt?" She reasoned, raising her eyebrows.

I nodded, standing up and finally lifting my leather jacket off my shoulders and hanging it over the back of the oak wood chair.

"I love you Lizzy, I really fucking love you. There's nothing I could do that would be worth losing you, or even the mere risk of losing you. This isn't my fault." Marina exclaimed, I could hear the guilty rasp in her late-night voice.

"Well, like you said, let's sleep on it." I said, disappearing into the bathroom to remove the makeup of the night and brush my teeth.