Emotions - (An Original Austin Mahone Love Story)

Chapter 7

"Austin," I breathed still in awe from the starry night sky. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" He turned his head so his sparkling hazel eyes met my green ones. "Yes, it is. I have never seen a sky this starry." I was happy that we were still whispering because I didn't want loud words to break this moment.

"I know. I found this back in May I believe. I was taking a night walk on this beach when I found this exactly as it is now. Whoever made it probably wanted to do the same thing we are doing now. I only come this time of month though. It is because it's a full moon and the stars and planets will never be seen any more clearer than now. It was my little secret, but I wanted to show you because I thought you might enjoy it." I could of sworn I saw him blush, but it could of just been a shadow.

"Thank you, for everything. Thank you for fixing me up, for helping with my boxes, for driving to the store, for buying me a new phone, and for showing me this. Thank you so much." I looked over at him and I was surprised to see his gaze never left mine.

"You're welcome," He breathed back. I smiled widely. "Can I ask you something?" Austin looked at me with a questioning look. I nodded slowly. "You can ask me anything."

"Why do you always get a sad, faraway look on your face whenever we talk about happy stuff. I could be mistaken, but it almost seems as if you are dwelling on past memories or something." He turned and leaned on his side, facing me with his head held up by his arm.

I sighed before answering. "It's my dad." Austin gave me a look of sympathy. "May I ask why?" He asked gently.

I considered that.

I had never really opened up too much about my issues with my dad, but I feel like I can trust Austin enough. Maybe it will help lift the burden of sadness and regret that I have been carrying for far to long. I guess you'll never know unless you try.

"It is kinda a long story so prepare yourself." I glanced at him briefly before continuing. "Okay, so, to get a long story short, my mom and dad got in a divorce ten years ago. It was painful, but at least I lived close to the both of them so I could see them frequently. That was until my father met my step mom and her seventeen-year-old daughter. I remember when I first met them, they were both nice enough to me so I was okay with it. A year later after they got married, Isabel, my stepmother, became pregnant. Everything changed so quickly after that. My dad stopped seeing me so often and he slowed down any contact we had with eachother. They all moved from Cibolo to San Diego, California and I hardly ever spoke to him. I basically lived without a dad until last year when he attempted to renew our relationship again." I looked at Austin. His face was filled with concern as he listened to me. He was an incredible listener.

"Wow. So did you ever agree to speak to him again?" He asked. I shook my head furiously. "No way! What he did was utterly unforgivable. He caused a lot of pain for my mother and I. You can't just ignore your child for nine years and expect forgiveness so quickly! Besides, I like it better when it is just me and my mother."

That was partly a lie. Of course I miss my father, but I can't just let him in that easily.

"Do you think you will ever forgive him?" Now that question caught me off guard. I thought hard. I mean, he is my dad, but at the same time you don't treat family like that. He has always cared for Isabel and Chole more than me and my mom. I used to be so close with Chole, my step sister, I just don't understand why things had to be the way they are. I guess that's life for you.

"I think I need more time. I obviously can't forgive him without contact, but I don't think I'm ready for that, yet." I glanced down at his face.

"That's understandable." For some reason what he asked me really made me sad. I wanted to forgive my father, but I couldn't.

"It is like one side of me wants to renew our petty relationship and the other half wants nothing to do with him," I choked out. Austin leaned even closer to me and sat up. I sat up too and he gently pulled me into his arms. I rested my head on his shoulder briefly before pulling away slightly so I could see his face.

Before I realized it, a tear slowly freed itself from the corner of my eye and trailed down my face.

"Hey, everything is going to be okay, alright?" He wiped it away with the base of his thumb, but it was no use. More and more tears were freeing themselves until my vision was intensely blurred.

Austin wrapped his arms around me again and I buried my face into his neck. I was crying hard. I just couldn't take it anymore. I guess I'm the kind of person who holds emotions in until I finally break down. This is one of the breakdowns. I hadn't allowed myself to cry about this in so long and this was the outcome.

"Shhhhh." Austin was running his fingers through my hair in an attempt to calm me.

It did.

My sobs dwindled down until I was just crying silently. He lifted me off of his chest so he could stare deeply into my eyes. My stomach flip-flopped and the butterflies exploded in my stomach.

I sighed and looked down. "I'm tired of this, Austin. I don't really have anybody who I can talk to about this. It is too painful for my mother and it is hard for my friends to understand since they grew up so differently. My family tried to help, but they just down understand." My eyes filled with tears again but this time I looked up to keep them from falling to prevent any further embarrassment to myself.

"I know. Let me tell you something though. I grew up without a dad too so I completley get what you are saying. I feel sorry that you have to deal with all that emotional baggage. I just want you to know that you can trust me." I was surprised to see his face merely inches away from mine when I looked up.

The funny thing was, I was okay with it.

Finally someone who can understand me! It all makes sense. I think that Austin was put into my life for a reason. And that reason is so we both have someone who has similar problems that we can talk to each other about and actually understand. Maybe that fall was fate bringing us together. Whatever it was, I'm grateful it happened.

I was so lost in my somewhat cliché thoughts I didn't notice Austin had moved even closer. "Thank you." I gave him a grateful smile that he returned. "You can talk to me about anything, I care about you." Austin lips parted slowly after that statement.

He leaned in slowly.

He paused briefly to see if I was okay with it. I was. My eyes bored into his. He leaned in again, but this time he shut his eyes and his lips rested onto mine ever so softly.