Voices

c h a p t e r 2 6 : m i s t a k e s

S a m

"But we know this, we got a love that is hopeless." - Secret Love Song, Pt. II, Little Mix

If only life was filled

With hope and second chances

Then maybe we'd all have a chance

To move on.

*

Sam,

Before you read on, I want you to know that writing this letter wasn't easy for me at all. And I want you to know that the only reason I'm doing this is because we both know that this is what's best for us.

I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm sorry for leading you on, if I did. I'm sorry for wearing a mask and pretending that everything is okay with you and with me. I know you have your own problems that you aren't ready to show the world but neither am I. I think we should both take a step back and heal ourselves.

Neither of us need another person to tell us that we're broken and not where we're meant to be.

I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't feel it, that I didn't feel what we had. Because I did. I felt it and it felt read and it terrified me.

I'm writing this down because I'm a coward and I don't dare to admit it to you person. I don't even dare to admit it to myself up until now. But through these words, all meant for you, it feels okay. I feel safe. Because maybe you've felt this way as well.

And maybe I'm wrong and if I am, I'm sorry for assuming. But this is how I feel.

And this is me telling you that I have to walk away before it's too late, no matter how hard it may be to me and maybe, to you as well. And if it makes you feel any better, I don't think we were meant to last anyway.

You don't know me and I don't know you and we are just two passing people who happen to meet, just for a fleeting moment.

I'm sorry, Sam, for all the confusion and pain I may have caused, I truly am. I'm so sorry.

But you're better off without me.

I wish you a speedy recovery and all the best in your future endeavours.

Louisa

*

I hope it wasn't a mistake sending the text I did. I had to do it. I couldn't just let someone else I care about, no matter how small or little it may be, slip away again. I've to admit, all I've been doing since Lily's accident is push people away.

I thought it would help. I thought that, by closing myself up, I could stop the pain and hurt I felt inside but now I know that it isn't the case.

I hadn't meant to open up to anyone, and certainly not to the girl I met over the summer, but I did. And it felt good. It felt good to finally let go and tell someone my side of the story instead of everyone finding out from the papers or some other source.

But it's too late now, isn't it.

I did it again.

I pushed her away without meaning to.

Did you really not mean to?

Or are you just saying that to ease your conscience and heal your bruised ego?