Voices

c h a p t e r 1 5 : f e a r

L o u i s a

"Somebody shine a light. I'm frozen by the fear in me. Somebody make me feel alive. And shatter me." - Shatter Me, Lindsey Stirling ft Lzzy Hale

I'm frozen by the fear in me.

I've forgotten what it's like

To be alive

To be hopeful

To be fearless.

Is someone out there?

Please, save me from my demons.

*

We step past the huge, dark blue archway and into the fairgrounds, the sounds of laughter and light hearted jokes reaching my ears, the smell of popcorn and cotton candy lingering in the air.

There's so much joy and excitement here. I can't live up to that.

"Come on. Let's go," Basil says, grabbing my hand and leading me through the crowd of people.

"Where are we going?" I ask, feeling very aware of my hand in his, my cheeks flushing red from embarrassment.

"To the haunted house. We're meeting my friends there," he replies.

"Wait. Please say we're not going to go through the haunted house. I don't do haunted houses."

He shrugs. "We'll see," he answers lightly.

I really don't want to go in. If Basil's friends are anything like Ria and Lowella and the rest of their friends, it's more than likely we're going. I've never been very fond thrilling and scary adventures.

"We're here," Basil tells me, snapping me out of my daze.

I glance around, taking in my surroundings. There are bright lights everywhere, in the booths, in all the attractions. Bright, colourful lanterns hang from one lamppost to the next, creating a nice and cheery ambience.

Rows and rows of stalls line the fairgrounds and a tall, magnificent Ferris wheel stands on the right end of the grounds. There are so many people here. Perhaps this is a huge annual event for this town. Parents with their young kids, teens, young adults, couples. Everyone looks like they're having such a great time. After all, this is meant to be a place of fun.

I haven't been able to enjoy anything since Dad left.

I feel tears pooling in my eyes and I wipe them away with the back of my hand before they have a chance to fall. I have managed to not think about Dad nearly the whole time I've been here — albeit that's only been just over three weeks — but it's still progress for me. I wish I could just forget about him the whole summer, but I can't.

Dad means the world to me.

He's the only one in the family who understands me, who has always been there for me. But he had to leave.

No, Louisa. Stop thinking about it. You can't change the past. What has happened, happened and you can't do anything about it. Just stop. Stop thinking.

I take in a shaky breath of air, burying any and all memories about Dad deep down, plastering a smile on my face.

"Where are your friends?" I ask Basil.

He shrugs. "I have no idea. They said they'd be around here." He pauses. "Oh, I see them."

He gestures for me to follow him as he head towards the haunted house tent, towards a group of about six or seven people.