Voices

c h a p t e r 2 3 : a w a y

L o u i s a

"Fires are meant to burn us, fights are meant to warn us. We could lose it all if we don't reignite this." Sparks Fly, Hey Violet

I need to tell you this.

Please, just let me tell you this.

And then I promise

I'm gone for good.

*

I wasn't there when the doctors finished whatever it is they were doing to Sam to patch him up. Instead, I was at home, taking a shower and a nap. I wasn't by his side. But, I guess, it doesn't really matter anyway, considering the doctors gave him some sleeping drug before he could wake up from his unconscious state.

I knock softly on his ward door, hearing someone say," Come in," before pushing the door open.

"Hello, Mrs Mitchell," I greet as I enter the room.

"Hi, Louisa. It's so nice of you to visit again. You know, you're the only friend of Sam's who has actually visited so regularly."

"Really?" I ask, slightly shocked.

She nods. "I'm afraid so. Francesca dropped over once and that's about it."

Is he really that alone?

I feel a stab of regret, shame and loneliness gnawing in my chest. I wish Sam didn't have to go through all this. I wish he had more friends to support him through this trying time.

I watch as Mrs Mitchell look at her son with sorrowful eyes, almost like she's mourning over his death rather than watching over his sleeping body. I should apologise. She deserves at least that from me.

"Mrs Mitchell?" I start.

"Yes, hun?"

Those two words felt like a slice to my heart. That's what my mother used to call me. Way before she met Troy and went downhill, completely transformed from the mother I used to know. To me, my mother is as good as dead since they met.

It's amazing how much the negative influence the wrong person can have on you.

"I'm sorry," I say softly, my eyes wandering to Sam's lifeless body.

She chuckles. "Whatever are you sorry for, Louisa? Accidents happen all the time. It's not your fault. I'm sure he would agree, if he cares for you as much as I think he does."

My heart skips a beat. How does Mrs Mitchell know about how he feels about me?

"I can see the way you look at him, Louisa. You don't have to hide it from me."

"But how do you know how he feels?" I ask quietly, my voice breaking.

"It's just a hunch," she replies, looking at me warmly and lovingly.

Her kind words and the way she talks to me broke something inside of me, and tears start streaming endlessly down my cheeks.

Sam is so lucky to have such a loving mother. I can barely remember the time my own mum even cared about me. That time seems like an eternity away, my memories of them so hazy that it's almost like they never existed.

I've forgotten how it feels like to have a parent who cares.

"Shh," she coos, standing up and walking towards me, pulling me into a hug, caressing the top of my head. "Don't worry. Everything will be alright." She pauses. "I assume there's more to this than just Sam. You can tell me."