Over Spilt Nescafe | √

xviii*

s i l v e s t r e

<uncontrolled or unrestrained ; wild>

"She was a storm
Not the kind you run from,
Its the kind you chase..."
~r.h.sin

·~·

'No mama I don't want to go.' I sat on the sofa, folding my arms.

'But Natalie its just a check up. Just to see.....' And she trailed off.

I knew what she wanted to say and but somehow it seemed that saying it out loud would make it all too real even though the signs were quite obvious enough. But I refused to go.

'Mama I am fine. It was just nothing. You are over analyzing things.' I said louder, before going to my room.

I sat on my bed and sulked. My parents were right to take me to a psychiatrist but I didn't want to go. They were going to take me to Nathan's one. She is a great lady but I doubt I'll feel comfortable talking to her about what goes on inside if my head. Even though that is kinda what she does for a living.

'Natalie.'

'For the last time mama I don't want to go!'

She sat down beside me.

'I know its going to be hard to open up to somebody you don't really know about but -'

'But what mama? I see no point in going and talking to a person who barely cares about what is going on in my life. Why should I tell her about anything at all. It doesn't make sense!'

'She is a doctor! And she has been taking care of Nathan just fine.'

'Nathan hated going there. And just because she is a doctor doesn't mean that I have to talk to her.'

'She can help you Natalie.'

'You told the same thing to Nathan and I repeat he hated going there. Besides look where he is now.'

'Oh so you blame Dr.Fernando for his death.'

'No I didn't mean it like that.'

'Then what huh?'

'I meant that she probably said or did things to him that made him leave home.'

'Natalie! What's wrong with you?! What Nathan did he brought it on himself.'

Mama then covered her mouth with her hands, eyes widened in shock.

'I didn't...'

'You clearly did.' I said angrily and ran out of my room pushing mama aside.

'Natalie wait.'

I ran out crying but before I could step on the road someone caught me by the waist from behind.

'Lemme go!'

'Natalie! What's wrong with you?!' Dada shouted as he dragged me back inside.

'Let go of me!' I struggled to get out of dada's grip.

'Natalie what's gotten into you?'

'You did not care for him. You guys are happy he died. I am just like him. How much can I guarantee that you care for me too?!'

'What are you saying Nat?'

'You think Nathan brought his death by himself. Do you really think he wanted to die that way. He wanted to live! To be free! But instead you locked him up. A wild bird caged because....'

'Because he is a wild bird just like you said. He could have wrecked havoc everywhere.'

'He ended up doing it anyways.'

'Yeah but....'

'But what dada? If you had just left him alone he wouldn't have had the urge to run away.'

'Natalie you do remember how unstable Nathan was.'

'Yeah dada but if we all treated him like we treated each other dont you think he would have stayed at home.'

'How do you know that if he was treated the same that he still wouldnt have thought of running away?' Dada asked.

'How do you know that he wouldn't?' I shot back.

Dad opened his mouth to say something but instead let out a frustrated noise.

Still tearing I went to Nathan's room and just sat on the floor after banging the door shut.

'I wish you were still here gummybear.'

~fate, love & nescafè~

Hiya bears!!

Whooppee I updated without keeping you guys waiting for a month. Am I awesome or am I awesome? ;)

I don't really have much to add except keep praying for srilanka. For all those people who suffered due to the floods.

And don't forget to

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Take care samosas
Till next time
=)❤Sammy

Edited : 24.06.16